After Careful Thought, I Am Now Content Releasing My MLB Class of 2017 Hall of Fame Ballot
It’s that time of year again, where sanctimonious baseball writers from coast to coast tweet their Hall of Fame ballots and we minions gather our pitch forks and rabble rabble rabble online over who they voted in and who they omitted.
Except this year was a little different, as yours truly was eligible to vote. Let me tell you, those national writers and journalists weren’t lying; this was without question the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. It’s something I completed with pride, as only those gifted with the best baseball acumens in the 150 year history of our game are eligible to vote. Our opinions are the end-all-be-all of who was good and who was great in this game and rightfully determine who becomes a baseball immortal and who doesn’t. I woke up every night in cold sweats hoping I didn’t pick anyone unworthy or vice versa. It’s not a burden I’d wish on my worst enemy.
Having said that, I finally reached a final ballot I was comfortable turning in. Some players I voted for were locks and some weren’t; some had character issues, others didn’t. That’s what made this vote so tough – judging these great players not solely by their careers on the diamond, but by their choices off it as well.
Now, here are the rationales for my picks and omissions:
*Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa
I couldn’t stomach voting for three known PED users into the most hallowed HOF in all of sports. They disgraced the game, plain and simple. I don’t care that the ’98 home run race arguably saved baseball, Sosa sticking a needle in his ass was nothing short of disgusting. 600 home runs shmickshmundred home runs. And don’t even get me started with Bonds. He was well on his way to the Hall anyways, but he got selfish and took the juice. Rot in Hell steroid users, you scum bags!
PS – You know who else took steroids to enhance their performance levels?
*Fred McGriff
Probably a steroid guy too having played in the 90s, but I didn’t take the time to google “Fred McGriff steroids”, so he gets a vote. Plus he almost had 500 home runs. Being a huge fan of quitting goals you set before you achieve them, I respected him not being able to squeeze out another 8 home runs to hit 500. Plus his nick name was Crime Dog. HOF nick name if I’ve ever heard one.
*Tim Wakefield
The best knuckleballer in the history of the game, period. The best home run hitter ever should be inducted. The best fastball ever already was inducted. Why not the best knuckleball pitcher ever? He won 200 games and I think was on one of those Red Sox World Series teams but I forget. Regardless, do you know how hard it is to win 200 MLB games when you throw ONE pitch? Um no one else has ever done that. So it’s basically impossible. Mariano Rivera only threw one pitch and he didn’t come CLOSE to 200 career wins, which is why he won’t be blessed with my vote when he’s Hall eligible. I guarantee if Kershaw only threw fastballs or Chris Sale wasn’t allowed to mix it up even they’d get their tits blown off their chests. Wakefield didn’t though – he cruised on to 200 career wins and a 4.41 career ERA – ridiculous stats.
*Manny Ramirez
This was my toughest vote. Be all accounts, Manny Ramirez was a goofball. He had way too much fun playing baseball – hiding in Green Monsters, stealing nachos from people in the front row of the stands, diving to cut balls off as a left fielder, etc. Major character question marks that almost cost him my vote. That said, the moment he stepped into a batters’ box he flipped a switch. He was one of the most cerebral hitters I’ve ever seen; he worked to all fields with authority, had an absurdly keen eye for what was a ball and what was a strike, and would bait pitchers into throwing him pitches he wanted to see. It was artistic watching him approach an at bat. Yeah, he was dog shit on defense, but who cares? He was one of the best natural hitters I’ve ever seen – I’d say the best comparison for today would be Miguel Cabrera. Yeah, he had major character issues. But I’m not one to judge what a player does OFF the field, only what he does ON the field.
*Pat Burrell
Though he’s not selected on my ballot, I will be voting for him next year. For many of the same reasons I voted for Tim Wakefield, Pat Burrell gets my nod because he was arguably the greatest cocksman in the history of the game. Yeah, he had a completely mediocre career as a player, but any time you’re the best at something you should be recognized for it by getting a plaque in Cooperstown. Fact. A detailed account of his conquests can be found here.
The rest of the players on my ballot were self explanatory and should get inducted their first time on the ballot, so I won’t rationalize voting for them.
If you have any comments, questions, or smart remarks about my ballot, @ me at