Bartolo Working Out In The DR As A Brave Makes Me Want To Cry

There are 3 things in this world that I thought I loved unconditionally:

1) Donuts

2) Japanese Zoo Drills with humans dressed as animals

3) Bartolo Colon working out in the Dominican Republic.

And I suppose my wife and kids can creep up in there as number 4 if we’re making a Mount Rushmore.

But here we are today, Thursday, December 15th, the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen, and I have had one of those things plucked away from me. Bartolo Colon working out in the Dominican Republic will never be the same. I will never be able to watch Bartolo do battle ropes and smile again. I will never be able to watch him do jumping jacks and jumping punching things and calisthenics in the Mother Land and look forward to watching him take the mound in orange and blue.

Donuts will never betray me. Japan will continue to practice their lockdown drills with animals escaping. But the Mets…the Mets and Bartolo Colon betrayed me. Almost any other team save the Braves, Yankees, Nats and Phillies and I’d be able to still laugh every winter watching Bartolo majestically work out in the Dominican sun. But knowing hes doing all that work to go pitch for the Atlanta Braves is heart wrenching.

For a guy that doesnt have many things on his list of Stuff That He Loves, losing Bartolo and specifically his Dominican Republic Workouts its a truly devastating blow.