The Trailer For The Latest Spider-Man Reboot Is Out And I Guess It's Good?

Here we go again! Another Spider-Man franchise is set up and ready to roll even though it will probably have a new lead and another movie introducing the entire backstory of Peter Parker by the next Presidential election! Actually you know what? I’m not going to be a negative Nancy about this trailer. Sony was trying to make Spidey work as a franchise after they hit gold with Tobey Maguire 14 years ago(!!!). But like most people do when they try, they failed. They failed with Tobey in the 3rd Spider-Man. They failed with the friend from the Facebook movie in the Amazing Spider-Man (yeah I know his name is Andrew Garfield but he will always be The Friend From The Facebook Movie to me). And again, they failed with Tobey in the 3rd Spider-Man because this may be the worst scene in cinematic history.

But I guess we should give this movie the benefit of the doubt because it’s the first time Sony has teamed up with Marvel to make a Spider-Man. If there’s one thing that Marvel is good at, its making kids obsessed with their characters so they want to buy all the toys and be them for halloween. But if there’s another thing that Marvel is good at, its make pretty fucking entertaining movies.

A few other thoughts on the trailer:

– This may not have been the best visual to kick off the trailer.

– I had no idea that Michael Keaton was in it but I cheered my dick off when I saw him. It’s a goddamn shame the entertainment world was without Michael Keaton for all this time. Happy he’s back and appears to be staying back.

– How the hell do you cast Marissa Tomei as Peter’s sexy Aunt May but don’t give us a tease of her AILF ass in the first trailer? Luckily she is in the international trailer which seems to be better than the American version. I hope President Trump demands that we don’t get cuckolded on the better trailer ever again.

– I don’t know the first thing about Tom Holland but he somehow pulled off being nerdy looking as fuck despite being ripped. That can’t be easy.

– Iron Man Robert Downey being in the movie instantly makes it better than either of the Amazing Spider-Man movies and Spider-Man (I admit that I only saw the first Amazing Spider-Man and hated it so I didn’t bother watching the second one).

– Any movie that has the word “Homecoming” in it should have the song Homecoming by Kanye West in it’s trailer. Low hanging fruit, people.

– Not sure if that chick is supposed to be a 2016 ethnic version of Mary Jane or what, but anybody in the world is better than ol’ snaggletooth Kirsten Dunst.

– I still can’t believe that the original Spider-Man came out 14 years ago. That movie had Macho Man in it too and he’s been dead for 5 years. Fuck I hate getting old. RIP Macho Man.

– It needs to be said again. RIP Macho Man.

– Bold choice having Spider-Man save the Staten Island ferry in your reboot. I’m pretty sure 95% of New York let alone America wouldn’t give a shit if the Staten Island Ferry fell off the face of the goddamn Earth tomorrow.