Congressman Demands the Freedom to Cook Ribs at the Capitol

Finally, a cause we can all get behind.

America has been waiting for generations for that one crusade that can bring our nation together and once again make us a truly United States of America. And thanks to Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), we have it at last: Ribs.

Of course we’re not just talking about any ribs. These are the ribs made by one Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas). Here we have the one thing that his colleagues on both sides of the aisle can agree on. Almost. Some say that his ribs are the best meat they’ve ever tasted. Others say they’re the best ribs they’ve ever tasted. Agree to disagree there. That can all be worked out in committee. The important thing is that the ribs are really popular across the political spectrum. And those architects who think congress works for them are trying to destroy that spirit of bipartisan cooperation.

And unless we and our political leadership speaks up with one voice and says “Enough!”, then we’ll continue to let these bureaucrats tell our congressmen what they can and cannot cook for each other. We’ll reduce them to nothing but a bunch of ineffective, overpaid and corrupt kleptocrats, wiping their asses with the Constitution while none of our problems get solved. And then no man can truly be free.

At least Frank Underwood appreciates the importance of ribs. That they’re the one meat that can Make America Great Again. I would’ve voted for him in a nanosecond.