Leo Dicaprio Says He Signed Up To Go To Mars On Elon Musk's Ship

NY Mag - This week, very chill President Barack Obama hosted the first-ever South by South Lawn festival. During a panel at the event, Obama sat down with Dr. Katharine Hayhoe and one-time Oscar winner Leonardo DiCaprio to discuss climate change. Hayhoe mentioned that emotional appeals are often more effective than facts when it comes to convincing global-warming deniers. Which sounds important for the future, sure, but more important, prompted DiCaprio to reveal that he signed up for Elon Musk’s trip to Mars. “The reality of it is, if you’re a human living on this planet — which most of us are, yeah?” Hayhoe asked the crowd. “As long as we haven’t signed up for the trip to Mars. I don’t want to know if anyone has, I think you’re crazy.” Cue DiCaprio leaning forward, sipping from his water bottle, and quietly muttering, “I did. I did.” (Skip to 1:16:15 to see for yourself.) Hayhoe laughs and apologizes for calling DiCaprio crazy, prompting Obama to weigh in on the conversation, “I think he’ll acknowledge he’s crazy.” When Elon Musk announced the Mars plans last week, he warned the world that if you want to be among the first to head to the red planet, you should be prepared to die. (Musk said he will likely not be among the first group to head out, because he’d like to be around to see his kids grow up.)

No doubt in my mind Leo Dicaprio’s crazy ass signed up for a trip to Mars. You know why? Because he has run though all the pussy thats humanly possible. You know in Independence Day when President Whitmore sees into the aliens plans? And he’s like “I saw what they’re planning to do. They’re like locusts. They’re moving from planet to planet… their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on.” Thats Leo Dicaprio but with top notch pussy. He’s like a locust and after he’s consumed all the Perfect 10 ass he can, he moves on. From model to model. Actress to actress. And he’s finally reached the bottom of the barrel. I think its conceivable Leo has fucked every woman that he wants to on this planet and is looking for a new source. A new sustainable source of sex. Someone or something in this galaxy is going to get Leonardo Dicaprio’s rocks off and he will travel to the end of the galaxy to find it if he needs to. Everyone thinks he’s all concerned about the environment but thats all a front. He’s gotta get in with NASA and Obama and the scientists and the Elon Musk’s of the world so that hes at the top of the list for these space trips. All those guys are on a journey to try to find a new home for humans and Leo is just on an expedition for some alien pussy since human chicks cant get his dick hard anymore.