Barstool’s Champions League Preview – Matchday 2(b)
Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies
Hi haters,
Wednesdays suck. The afterglow of last weekend’s drunken fun has long since worn off, and next weekend is but a speck of light at the end of the world’s longest hallway. If you are living that cube life like the dildos in New York, you know what I’m talking about. Now if only there was something to take your mind off of things, if only for a couple hours, how great would that be?
GLORIOUS.
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CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Group standings are pretty meaningless when half the teams have only played a single game so I’ll wait to start discussing where things stand on that front until Matchday 3 (mid-October), for now though here are the scores from yesterday and today’s schedule:
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Wednesday’s Picks
I won’t claim to know how the decision is made on which games ESPN is allowed to air, but godamn if they didn’t luck the hell out today. In terms of sheer intrigue you can’t beat Atleti hosting Bayern… so that’s where I’m starting.
Atletico [+205]
Bayern [+155]
Draw [+255]
Don’t be fooled by Atleti’s offensive outbursts in 5-0 and 4-0 domestic wins over the likes of Gijon and Celta, any time Simeone’s boys come up against a(nother) top flight team it is going to be a low-scoring dogfight. This one has 1-0 final score written all over it – unless Bayern can score an early goal and force the home side to unbatten the hatches and play a little bit. If that happens all bets are off. Bayern has been in fantastic form so far this year, having conceded one goal – ONE – in their last matches. So who is going to nab the winner? Serious toss-up, but while my brain is saying “De Griezmann” we all know my brain is stupid, so I’m going with Lewandowski. Bayern to win 1-0.
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Celtic [+200]
City [-300]
Draw [+230]
I am a fan of Celtic. I’ve mentioned it several times. I studied abroad in Glasgow and always root for the Bhoys (unless they are facing Partick Thistle) whenever I can. But I’m also a realist. I said it in the Champions League preview and will repeat it here: Celtic just isn’t on the level of clubs like Barca and City this season. This is unlikely to turn into an embarrassment like the 7-0 ass-whooping at the Camp Nou last time, but given the form the Sky Blues are in, and the fact Raheem Sterling is likely going to score 15 goals himself (and just may do it with the form he is in), I don’t think the Scots have a chance. City to win 3-1.
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Monchedickgladbach [+550]
Barcelona [-215]
Draw [+360]
Fabian Johnson & Co. were embarrassed last time out in UCL by City, but have been in much better form in the Bundesliga. Unfortunately it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire with Barcelona coming to town. There is a bit of good news though as the Argentine Pulisic is out with a groin tweak. Unfortunately the visitors still have Neymar, Suarez, Rakitic, Iniesta and all sorts of other world class talent. I like Ze Germans to keep it close, and pulling out a draw might be possible, but a dub seems like too much to ask. Barcelona to win 2-0.
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Arsenal [-350]
Basel [+1000]
Draw [+400]
Do I love Arsenal in this? No. Do I like them? Meh, I guess. The Gunners have been flying lately, treating Chelsea like a redheaded stepchild last weekend and coming up with a big draw at PSG last time out in Champions League. The rub is that winning today would make things almost too straight forward for a team associated with Arsene Wenger – it just wouldn’t make sense. What’s more, Basel haven’t lost a single game all season, including 11 wins and a draw, but then again those have mainly been against Swiss league opposition (and Ludogorets). Hopefully my tepid feelings on this one have come through loud and clear, but I’ll go with Arsenal to win 2-1.
AWWWWW SHIT, NEXT LEVEL
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Random picks (because the more I toss out there the better than chances I eventually get one right):
• I’ve been singing the praises of Rostov [+210] since watching them in qualifying, and went with them last week versus Bayern more to prove a point. Sure, they shat the bed a bit, but that’ll happen against Ze Germans every now and again. Today’s game against PSV [+140] is absolutely make or break for the Oligarchy bastards. Loss here and their Russki goose is cooked. Time to put up or shut up. Rostov to win 3-1.
• PSG [-390] have been very un-PSG-like so far this season, doing weird things like losing games in Ligue 1. Nothing like a little Ludogorets [+775] to cure what ails them – or at least paper over it for one day. PSG to win 3-0.
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Reminder: got another biggggggggg slate tomorrow……….. kidding, it’s just Europa.
“Glory, Glory!”
Holler,
Sam U.L. Army