We Eating Today Boys! Twitter Stock Has Skyrocketed Amidst Rumors They Are Close To Being Bought Out

Go Twitter, go Twitter, go!

Market Watch - Shares of Twitter Inc. TWTR, +18.95% rocketed 17% in active premarket trade Friday, after a report that the social network getting close to a buyout deal. The stock was changing hands at $21.73, which puts it on track to open at the highest level since Jan. 6. The stock reversed earlier losses of nearly 5% following a downgrade at RBC Capital, after CNBC reported that Twitter was moving closer to a sale of the company. With 7.3 million shares traded, the stock was the most active before the open.

We eating today boysssssssssss! Oh guac is extra? Well then give me double, Twitter went up 20% this morning and I own 12 shares, nbd. It wasn’t changing stars to hearts, it wasn’t live streaming Thursday Night Football, and it wasn’t letting porn stars tweet full double anal scenes…it was simply rumors that someone else could be running Twitter in the near future that turned them around. Mere whispers of a buyout across Silicon Valley were enough to blast TWTR up 20% this morning, the true sign the current company absolutely sucks. And it does. It sucks. Sucks on ice. Sucks on skates. Sucks in every way a company can suck. But we all are obsessed with it, so this could be the best news of all time for people who want Twitter not to suck. CEO Jack has to be crying in his gluten free Cheerios this morning, full knowing the clock on his little CEO fantasy playhouse is winding down.

PS: There’s that little part of me that never wants Twitter to succeed because Dave owns so much of it and he’s had enough good things happen in his life. So if they succeed or if they fail, it’s kind of a win-win.