Bruce Jenner Is About To Go On A Pussy Rampage

 

(Source) Gossip sites have been abuzz with rumors about the state of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s marriage, but it seems that another relationship was going under at the same time. Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner and husband Bruce Jenner announced their separation this afternoon. “We are living separately and we are much happier this way,” the couple tells E!, home to their family’s many reality shows. “But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”

 

 

There’s just something instinctual about being happy for Bruce Jenner today. It’s guy code, even though I’m 90% sure he’s an actual lesbian. It’s like your team winning a big playoff game or something. I’m just pumped for the guy, genuinely happy. He’s lived in absolute hell, locked in a cage with the devil for god knows how long and now he’s free. He’s like Andy Dufresne, but instead of crawling through 500 yards of shit he was married to the worst person alive.  I mean Lamar Odom had to become a crack addict and run away from society to rid himself of the Kardashians, that shows you how fucking hard it is to shake them. So good for you Bruce, go out and enjoy it, or don’t, I don’t really care, just know for 1 second in my life I was genuinely happy for you.

 

 

I wasn’t joking about the lesbian thing though. You honestly can’t be more lesbian than this, it’s not possible. Straight D-3 Woman’s Golf Coach.