Dumb Ass Kids Playing The Choking Game Is Going Viral Again

NY Post – Search “how to play choking game” online and you might get a clue to the root of a deadly trend among kids. Thousands of videos and tutorials crop up showing the risky phenomenon, in which kids force themselves to pass out, either by their own means or by having a friend choke them, in order to experience the supposed euphoria of, well, breathing again. It’s not new to the internet or the playground, but it’s making headlines again after an 11-year-old boy in South Carolina died last week after allegedly playing the “game” in his bedroom.  It’s a resurgence, some say. Experts disagree: Although the game had largely disappeared from the news cycle until recently, it’s more prevalent than parents or health officials recognize. That’s because the game has masqueraded under a number of names that seem innocuous enough, such as “space monkey,” “cloud nine” and “five minutes in heaven.” It varies in practice, too: The latest, the “pass out” game, has turned up all over Snapchat and YouTube, and shows kids taking rapid deep breaths for 45 seconds until another applies pressure to their chest and they lose consciousness. Videos show young, cherubic kids collapsing to the ground and even having seizures. “There are different ways it’s done, but the intent is that it is happening is the same. It is disrupting the flow of blood to the brain and causing them to lose consciousness,” Judy Rogg, director of Erik’s Cause, an organization that works to prevent the practice, told The Post.

A wise man once said, Time Is A Flat Circle. And its never been more true with this Choking Game shit. Lets take a step back. It was August, 2010 I first blogged about the Choking Game sitting at my desk at Deloitte, banging away like a Cube Monkey:

NBC – . “In the ‘choking game’ participants attempt to experience a euphoric feeling by temporarily depriving the brain of oxygen by applying pressure to the neck until they pass out,” a community alert press release from the Chicago Police states. Participants wrap belts or ties around their neck and try hanging from fixed locations.  They released warning signs to help parents spot any abnormal behavior in their children.

• Strange bruising or red marks around the neck
• Bloodshot eyes
• Bed sheets, belts, T-shirts, ties or ropes tied in strange knots and/or found in unusual places
• Visiting Web sites or chat rooms mentioning asphyxiation or the choking game
• Curiosity about asphyxiation (asking questions like “How does it feel?” or “What happens if?”)
• Disorientation and/or grogginess after being alone
• Locked or blocked bedroom or bathroom doors
• Frequent, often severe headaches
• Changes in attitude; becoming more aggressive
• Wear marks on furniture (bunk beds or closet rods)

You know what the number 1 sign is that a kid has an asphyxiation addiction? Not getting any hand jobs. You want a euphoric feeling bro? Get your dick yanked on. Trust me. Feels good.  Happened to me twice before, it all lives up to the hype.

I love number 5 on the list. Like if your kid comes up to you and is like “Hey daddy what does it feel like when you dangle from the ceiling with a rope around your neck?” you’re not gonna know that he is trying to get his jollies off by asphyxiating himself. Hang on a moment, let me consult my choking game list and see if this qualifies as an official warning sign.

Needless to say this country is going to hell in a hand basket folks. You know what I did when I was a teenager to have fun? Same fucking thing I do now because I haven’t grown up one bit. Drink booze and chase skirts. Not sit around and try and f’n hang myself.

Now we fast forward to 2016. 6 years later. I’m back at a desk. I escaped the cube for a full 5 years and have now been dragged all the way back in. I found a chick, got married, and now popped out my own kid that I have to worry about doing dumb ass shit like this. Barstool has gone from a 2 city operation to a full media platform purchased by a major mogul. All of this shit has transpired, and you know what kids are still doing in that time? They’re still choking themselves out like a bunch of clowns. They were doing it then, they are doing it now, and they’ll do it until the end of time. The name is elevated, the style of asphyxiation is elevated, but its still Guru and Premier. (A little Gang Starr reference for the people who are old enough to remember 9/11) Because thats just what kids do. Dumb reckless shit for a cheap thrill that could potentially kill them. Probably started in like the 50s when kids used to climb inside of refrigerators and die. What the fuck was that about? Now they have their friend’s choke the life out of them. Just how life goes.

I got choked out by my buddy Nick Bavona once. We were on the playground at St. Mary’s Star of the Sea. He told me to take 10 deep breaths and cross my arms over my chest and the next thing I knew I woke up on the pavement with a lump on my head the size of an egg because he didnt catch me at all. I stood up, dusted myself off, and told myself I was just gonna masturbate and play video games and ride bikes and always make sure I have the proper amount of oxygen. Live and learn. You just hope nothing tragic happens in between.