New Hi-Tech Urinal Will Literally Clean Your Dick With Soap And Water

A hi-tech urinal which can wash and dry the penis after it’s been used is being developed by an invention team.

The bathroom gadget ‘Urinary 2.0′ uses programmed sensors which will activate its cleaning mechanism when the user has finished urinating – and gets straight to work making them clean and dry before they fasten up.

Soapy water is administered for three seconds to clean the penis of the user – set to be cooler in summer and warmer in winter, say the manufacturers.

Let me first start out by saying that I think dicks are largely self-cleaning and dont need some fancy cleaning gadget after every piss. I think modern men have become pussies about their dicks.

Everybody feels like you have to wash your hands after you piss. Why? My penis is essentially like a floppy finger that shoots pee. Unless I get pee on my hands, I’m not washing them. No need.

I don’t really know how this urinal is going to work but I can assure you that the entire design, which I know nothing about, is problematic and it’s not because I’m worried my penis is too small for it. The designers nipped that talk from the jump. Any penis is big enough. From Donald Trump to Ray J, you’re in the clear. Or so they say.

I’m more worried about the wetness. There’s no chance this fancy cock washer leaves you 1. dry 2. without an unsightly erection.

I need to see videos of people leaving the restrooms after they use this bad boy before I can recommend it. I’ll be checking for both pants wetness and the very appearance of an unplanned boner. That’s my promise to you. More as the story develops.