Dude Says He Got Robbed Playing Pokemon GO But Just Kidding It Was A Drug Deal Gone Wrong

IOWA CITY — Police said a Coralville man who claimed to be robbed while playing Pokemon Go was actually just angry about a drug deal gone bad. According to an Iowa City police criminal complaint, on Aug. 29 around 2 p.m., 23-year-old Tomas O. Sotelo came to the Iowa City Police Department to report a strong arm robbery. Sotelo told an officer that he was playing Pokemon Go in Court Hill Park around midnight on Friday when he was knocked to the ground by a man with a deep voice who wanted his money. Sotelo told an officer he gave the man $20 and a battery pack and the man fled. When confronted about those inconsistencies and advised that there could be surveillance cameras in the park, Sotelo began to change his story, police said. Instead of a robbery, Sotelo said he met a man in the park to buy a baggie of marijuana for $10. Sotelo said the man argued with him about the size of the bag and took his $20.

Did Ryan Lochte teach the world nothing? Did The Night Of teach the world nothing? Don’t lie to the police. Don’t do it. They will poke holes in your story and you will get charged with making a false report. So you got robbed during a bad drug deal. Who hasn’t that happened to(it has never happened to me)? Don’t go crying to the police like a baby back bitch. That’s just asking to get caught. The Lochte Saga was pointless if we can’t learn from it. The officer who responded to the call even cited dumbass Ryan Lochte when talking to the guy about his story

The officer, however, said there were inconsistencies in Sotelo’s story. Sotelo was warned about making a false report, with the officer specifically mentioning Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, who falsely claimed he and three other Olympic swimmers had been robbed at gunpoint during the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.

How about that?! Maybe the world did learn something from Lochte after all. No surprise that it’s the cops and not the criminals who learned the lesson. And not that Lochte’s brain could process this story but if he could, that’s gotta hurt. Becoming a punch line and having your name forever attached to false police reports would SUCK. “Oh he lied about what actually happened that night? Guy pulled a classic Lochte.” Although Lochte is probably pumped to leave any sort of legacy. Also, let’s be done with Pokemon GO-related crimes. We need something fresh. We need a new iPhone game to take over the world for two and a half weeks and give us stores of crime and death.