Landon Collins Says He Got Back In Shape By Swearing Off Oreos
NY Post- Landon Collins is a quitter. “Cookies,’’ Collins told The Post during training camp. “Oreos. Vanilla Oreos. That was my biggest weakness. A whole pack in at least an hour and a half.’’ Collins did not even wash the cookies down with milk. Just straight Oreos, one after another. But no longer. He says he “swore off them,’’ and as a result, he is down to 216 pounds, after arriving as a rookie last season at around 228.
“You have to change your eating habits,’’ Collins said. “My eating habits last year were worse than they are now.’’ Collins became the first Giants safety to start all 16 games as a rookie. He is noticeably quicker this summer, and safeties coach David Merritt said the reduced weight is a big reason why.
Alright Landon Collins, you are officially forgiven for dropping that potential game-winning interception against the Pats last year as your elbow almost exploded. Because swearing off any type of snack is impressive. But swearing off Oreos is damn near impossible. Now granted I am a gigantic junk food addict and not a professional athlete. But anyone that has ever eaten an Oreo knows how the chain starts. First you grab a few, then you try to even out the rows of cookies in the package, and before you know it, your body is made up of more creme and cookie than water. And a whole pack in 90 minutes? That shatters any of my personal records.
I don’t know if I could even downgrade from Double Stuf to the original Oreos. And the thin Oreos? Straight up offensive to the junk food game. They should only sell that shit at Mrs. Greens and organic fancy Whole Foods grocery stores. I actually have recently gotten back into Mega Stufs and it’s bad folks. Real bad. Luckily if you split the Oreos in half and eat the creme first, you save calories. Not many people know that.
So great work by Landon quitting Oreos. As a Giants fan I thank you for being a stronger man than me, in literally every sense of the word. Even though Vanilla Oreos are trash and should lose the word Oreo in their title.
P.S. When the article said “Collins did not even wash the cookies down with milk”, I thought they were going to say he washes them IN water like the PMT boys. And if that happened, I would sell all my Landon Collins stock and be completely out on him. But I actually respect his no dunking in milk policy. Sometimes you need to just crush your Oreos straight no chaser. Plus anyone that drinks a tall glass of milk as an adult is a McPoyle in my mind.