Sydney McLaughlin Went Full Portnoy In Her Post-Race Interview

This girl is only 17 (and like, just turned 17. She was 16 nine days ago) so I’m definitely not going to be too hard on her. I’m also not going to mention anything aside from her running but…. yeah. Still though, even at 17 this was too good not to mention. What a laundry list of excuses! I thought she was going to stop after the second but they just kept coming and coming and coming and coming. I thought Mercury being in retrograde was gonna take some blame on this one. If only Sydney had started with “Not to make excuses but…” I would’ve sworn Portnoy had taken over her body or something. Again, I’m not in the business of bashing 17 year olds who are Olympians so I’m not going to, just wanted to nip this situation in the bud. Don’t become a Dave, Sydney. No one likes a Dave.

Also, you’re a cutie pie. Can you say that about a 17 year old? No, no, you’re right. That sounds weirder, like a perverted old man. You’re a talented runner and let’s leave it at that, Sydney. We’ll continue this part of the conversation next year when you make 18.