The People That Burglarized The Red Rooster In Brewster Should Be Buried Under The Jail
LoHud- The Red Rooster Drive-In ice cream parlor and burger joint was found burglarized Sunday morning, state police said. Employees opened the popular eatery to find the cash registers damaged, Trooper Melissa McMorris said. The back door had been forced open, allowing the thieves to gain entry to the Route 22 restaurant, she said. State police investigators were investigating the break-in, reported at 9:48 a.m. There was no immediate word on the amount of money stolen or extent of the damage.
This aggression will not stand, man. This was not a burglary of the Red Rooster as much as it was an attack on what America stands for. The Red Rooster is everything that is right about this country. Great burgers. Fantastic ice cream. And a mini golf course full of obstacles that may or may not be plagiarized from well-known cartoons (I’m looking at you, Ghetto Ass Pinocchio and Bootleg Porky Pig). That right there is the epitome of the American Dream. Snaking it until you make it while also being a cash only restaurant located near Westchester. Sure that also made it a robber’s wet dream. But you would think there were some places that even the most vile people wouldn’t dream of robbing. Churches. A home for orphans. Historical landmarks. And the Red Rooster.
So to the people that did this horrific crime to my home mini golf course, I have one thing to say to you. So listen up.
Also not to brag, but I have won multiple free mini golf games by hitting my ball into the clown nose on the 18th hole. So I guess when push comes to shove, I have taken money out of the Red Rooster’s pocket just like these cowardly burglars. Again, not to brag.