Is My Tan Overshadowing My Content?

I got to be honest. I feel like all anybody is talking about on Barstool right now is my tan. I feel like my entire RNC mini-series was overlooked by people just talking about how I look like a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. I couldn’t even get a word in edge wise on the rundown because Big Cat was infatuated with my glow. People aren’t listening to what I’m saying. It’s just “my god he looks like a bronze statue, blah, blah, blah.” Like I always used to make fun of actors and actresses who complained about not being taken seriously because of their looks. How they’d complain about getting type cast as being dumb and talentless. Well that’s how I feel now. Nobody is saying I’m funny anymore. Nobody is talking Oscars for my RNC stuff. It’s just all about my tan. I never thought I’d say this but maybe if I want to be taken seriously I need to be a pale white ghost who never leaves my couch like KFC.