Bruins Prospect Jake DeBrusk Suffered One Of The Most Horrifying Nut Injuries You'll Ever Hear

(WEEI) – The whole story is that DeBrusk got hit in one of his testicles with a slap shot so hard that it inflamed to the size of a tennis ball and he fainted at the hospital before surgery could even be performed.

“It was the scariest thing, looking down and it’s just like, ‘Oh my god. What’s going to happen?’” DeBrusk said in a conversation with WEEI.com. “You’re 18 years old and you’re thinking to yourself whether you’re ever going to have kids, things like that. I freaked out.”

DeBrusk suffered the injury blocking a shot on his first shift of a Broncos game on Oct. 30. He was wearing a cup, but because he wears some of his pads loosely, the shot missed the cup altogether and hit his left testicle. His teammates chuckled as any teenager would, as their buddy had gotten hit in the you-know-whats, except DeBrusk had no idea what was going on and was experiencing perhaps the most frightening moments of his life.

“The only thing I’ll remember about it is just the pain,” he said. “That’s the worst part about the injury, is how much it hurt, because I tried to get up. I went down and I didn’t know what happened, because you don’t feel it in that area. It goes up to your mid-section, so I thought my appendix burst or something, because I couldn’t move. It was an unbelievable feeling. I’ll never forget it. I tried to get up and I had to crawl to the bench. I had to crawl and they were like, ‘Get up, get up.’ I was like, ‘I can’t get up.’”

The surgery was eventually performed and DeBrusk says that all is well now. Yet that wasn’t the case for quite some time. He couldn’t walk for a week, and though he was expected to miss up to two months, he returned after three weeks. DeBrusk admits that he “wasn’t even close” to being either healthy or properly conditioned to play, but that because it was his first injury and the team was struggling, he couldn’t stand to miss any more time.

Hearing him explain his return, the scenario borders on irresponsible. The Broncos had a three-in-three (that’s what it sounds like: three game in three days) and he played over 30 minutes a night in all three of them.

“It was a tough transition. I kind of wish I didn’t come back so early because it doesn’t do great for the stats, that’s for sure,” he said with a laugh. “I probably could have taken about 10 more games off, but we needed a push. … I just couldn’t stand watching hockey.”

First of all, I recommend reading that entire story because it’s horrifying front-to-back. Or maybe I don’t recommend reading it? I’m not sure. Actually, sit on a bag of ice and read it. There. I’m a problem solver, it’s what I do.

But holy goddamn shit is that the most terrifying ordeal I’ve ever heard. Going to block a shot was always scary, but if I knew then what I know now I’d be diving out of the way of every point shot like Fulton Reed was winding up. Can you fucking imagine staring at your nut while it swelled up to the size of a tennis ball, just waiting for a fucking Pokemon to hatch out of it or something (topical humor! Put it on the board!)? Passing out is really your only option there. Or death. Death is an option too. “You know what, doc? I don’t mean to be rude but I’m going to request another physician. Can we get Kevorkian in here, please? I’ve seen enough of this world now that my balls look like something from the set of Alien.”

Tell you what, though. Lot of respect for DeBrusk coming back after three fucking weeks. I hit my nuts on my bike bar going over a curb once and I think I missed more than three weeks of school. Didn’t even technically get hurt doctor style, just couldn’t face the world until I got my head on straight. Only sitting out three weeks after that calamity is on par with Gregory Campbell as one of the most heroic feats ever performed by a Bruins (kind of) player.

PS – Jake, if I may help you out in the future, maybe tighten up that equipment. Get a pair of No Fly Zones, even. You got long balls, kid. Change your drawers up.