Government Drones Are Set To Drop Vaccine-Covered M&Ms In Order To Save An Endangered Species Of Ferrets

The Guardian- The US government is set to unleash drones that fire vaccine-covered M&Ms in a bid to save the endangered black-footed ferret, a species that is facing a plague epidemic across America’s great plains. The US Fish and Wildlife (FWS) has developed a plan to bombard ferret habitat in Montana with the vaccine, which will be administered via specially designed drones that will be able to shoot M&Ms in three directions simultaneously. The vaccines will be targeted at the prairie dog population at the UL Bend National Wildlife Refuge in north-eastern Montana. Black footed ferrets – North America’s only native ferret – are completely dependent upon prairie dogs, which are a type of burrowing rodent, for their food and shelter. Both black-footed ferrets and prairie dogs are susceptible to the sylvatic plague, a flea-borne disease spread from rats that were introduced from ships arriving in California in the 1800s. While individual ferrets can be vaccinated by an injection, wildlife officials have found it difficult to protect prairie dogs over large areas.

Let’s gooooooooooo. Not sure why but that story pumped me the fuck up. Who needs coffee after you read a story about government drones making it rain vaccine-laced M&Ms to save a species of ferrets? Alright I still need coffee but that’s still fucking awesome. What an idea! This needs to be getting more press. The media only covers the bad stuff. This guy shot that guy, this guy shot another guy blah blah blah. No more of that please. The world needs to know about this secret ferret drone operation. Also, what stoner scientist came up with this genius idea? It says in the article that it was hard to catch these ferrets in order to inject them with the vaccine. It was at that point a guy raised his hand and said, “Hey, why don’t take the vaccine, cover a bunch of candy with it then shoot the candy from drones?” That’s a stoner though if I’ve ever heard one. And it might work! Don’t listen to your teachers, kids. Do drugs. Do all of the drugs.

PS- What a weird/awesome day that’s gonna be for the ferrets when candy starts raining from the sky like in Kazam.