Over-litigious Families Sue HS Football Coaches For Telling Players To Ignore Concussions, Seizures, And Pussy Parents

Warning: Post contains lots of words. Feel free to skip to the end for a fire meme that basically sums it all up.

Perhaps the only people more persecuted in the United States than sports fans are the men who built us into the men we are today: America’s High School Football coaches. And the latest amongst them to be nailed to a cross and dragged through the dessert for trying to toughen up our nations most valuable resource- our football players- are the father/son coaching duo out of St. Marys City, Ohio- Doug and Bo Frye.

Bo and Doug are two throwback coaches both figurtively and literally since they run the single wing offense and refuse to throw forward passes because passing is for chickenshit show-offs that lack the toughness to manage exactly 3 yards per carry and keep those chains moving into your opponet’s nightmares.

But it seems some activist parents in the school district don’t agree with the football way of life and have sued the school just because Doug and Bo tried to teach there kids a little something called “grit.”

The lawsuit included allegations of name-calling, encouragement of fighting between players, contact without proper gear, encouragement of playing with injuries, being told that “concussions don’t exist” and players being directed not to say a word about a player having a seizure during practice

This lawsuit is going to get laughed out of court. Oh a seizure? So in other words playing football for the Frye boys is no more dangerous than watching Japanese cartoons. Statistically your more likely to have a seizure playing pokemon go than you are playing with a mild concussion. Plus anyone who’s ever competed at a high level of junior varsty ball can tell you that some players play better when they have a seizure since tunnel vision allows you to lock in on your assignment leaving no room for freelancing, and if you time it right on defense its like adding a extra rumble pack to your tackles.

As for the part about traumatic brain injuries possibly being a long con played on the American public by the big MRI lobbyists, we actuially DONT know if concussions exist yet. They’re basically like the Higgs- Boson particle- we think they occur based on some flashes of light you see after a big crash, but it could be just a bunch of neurons faking it. Dosen’t matter if your talking about a large hadron collider or a large headon collision, we just don’t have the science to measure it correctly yet. Getting knocked out from a concussion might just be Gods way of reminding you that low man wins. No way of knowing.

The lawsuit alleges that the father and son had been the subject of multple internal investigations both by the school district and the actual police over the last 7 years (all taking place under the Obama adminstration) for cussing at and continuously injuring their players through various degrees of willful negligence. In additon to this seizure hogwash, one player was recovering from a shoulder surgery and was not suppose to be practicing, but he allowed himself to be forced to participate in a full-contact drill that the coaches weren’t allowed to be conducting in the off-season in the first place. Some things are unpreventable, just part of football.

Plaintiff Hicks was forced to practice despite a recent shoulder surgery and medical excuse excluding him from practice. Because of this, Hicks seriously re-injured his shoulder and sustained lifelong damage.

I don’t know why coaches should be punished for finding ways to actively get around unjust rules like the ones that limit contact during the offseason. In my opinion, the Coaches Frye are modern day equivlants of Rosa Parks except instead of refusing to give up her seat at the back of the bus they bend district football safetey regulations in the name of perfecting the crossbuck. But it turns out the parents dont see things the same way.

Defendant Doug Frye stated on several occasions to the Plaintiffs that “pussy parents raise pussy kids.”

In off-season drills nicknamed “bloody nose football” or “towel wars,” players regularly, without pads or helmets, hit one another in order to gain possession of a makeshift football (fashioned from a towel)…These sessions were conducted in private, usually in the locker room, over the off-season winter months. They were used by the coaches as a way to “build toughness.”

And then there was another player that claimed he had a knee injury but in realty it must not of hurt that badly because he didn’t even think it was injured enough to disobey the coaches orders and go see a doctor. After accepting his coaches suggestion that he quit being a bitch, he played the rest of the season on the injured leg. It was only when the season ended when he was aloud to see a doctor that he discovered he needed “surgery” or in other words, it seems like the whole reason he hurt his knee was because he STOPPED playing on it and got less tough.

Doug Frye would regularly claim that his son (Koby) played football with a broken back, indicating to his players that anything less was weak and unacceptable.

We are all products of our enviroments and Coach Frye is no exception. If something that you shot out of your dick 18 years ago can play 3-technique with a spinal fracture then it just stands to reason that you’d assume a kid would be fine running wind sprints while having a grand mal seizure. These same doctors that told Koby not to play football are the same ones who Doug use to beat up in high school so its natural that he wouldn’t listen to them.

Most of these complaints about injuries point back to the basic truth that football coaches just don’t trust doctors- and with good reason: Doctors don’t get results like football coaches. After 40,000 years of the Earth existing, “science” has yet to save a single person from ultimately dying. Thats a 0% success rate. In other words, getting medical treatment from a doctor literaly has a 0% longterm WAR compared to if you just hired a big slobbery dog to bark at your terminal illness until it healed. Sabermetrically, using Dr Kevorkian as your primary care physician is the most effecient way to live life since at least you get the desired outcome. Coach use to have a saying “if your bleeding it means your alive.” Taught us early to look at blood as a sign of a healthy body. Its when you stop bleeding that it might be time to dial it back a bit.

If we’re going to file lawsuits against High School coaches for coaching, we might as well stop calling ourselves Americans and start calling ourselves Americannots. Hell, if Coach Schiano had started his career during this day in age he would of probably had to rethink the entire way he approached football and paid closer attention to the health and well-being of all those in and around his football program. It would of been a disaster.

Quick comparison for those who still dont get it: