Too Complex Of a Story For One Movie, Tetris...Yes Tetris...Will Be A Trilogy

Guardian - Tetris, the 1980s video game about stacking blocks, is being made into not one, but three films, according to Empire.

Producer Larry Kasanoff is lining up a trilogy about the GameBoy favourite, which featured the simple but addictive formula of shuffling falling shapes into corresponding gaps.

“The story we conceived is so big,” said Kasanoff. “This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”

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Hell yeah! Let’s go baby! When I think elaborate video game plots that are too complex for one movie, I don’t think Grand Theft Auto or Call of Duty or BioShock…my mind goes straight to Tetris.

To some Tetris is just little blocks falling from the sky that get progressively quicker as the levels go up. To others though, it’s a complex sci-fi universe full of intricate characters and layers of motifs that takes years and years to completely understand.

So could they have made one Tetris movie and then seen how it faired and built from there? Fuck no they couldn’t. We need 3 Tetris movies and we’re going to like them, god dammit.

PS: If we’re making old Nintendo/Game Boy games into movies, give me a Paperboy movie. This fucking Paperboy just riding down the streets knocking shit over in people’s yards, getting chased by rabid dogs, zooming through intersections without obeying traffic laws. If Tetris gets a movie, Paperboy gets a movie. Fair is fair.