Gilbert Arenas Broke Down The Derrick Rose Trade On Instagram Like Only Agent Zero Can Do
You can always count on No Chill Gil to come out firing live bullets on Instagram when any big NBA news breaks with the savage #hashtag game of a man possessed. 23 hashtags by my count, which either means Gil’s social media advisor is a genius or Gil is still a crazy man that is probably still yelling “Hibachi” at the moon. Regardless, Agent Zero should be the preeminent personality breaking down NBA news on ESPN instead of this guy.
“Mom, you know I hate this shirt! I should be able to wear whatever I want during the summer. Today has been rough enough now that I can’t play with Skip anymore.”
Where else are you going to get someone that can tie in a vintage Shawn Kemp 9 kids joke with a D’Angelo Russell phone joke to go along with Ayesha Curry’s conspiracy theories and then casually reference Caitlyn Jenner’s balls? Sure Arenas is Exhibit A for why there should be character limits on Instagram. But when he nails it, he nails it. And poor Roy Hibbert getting figuratively dunked on out of the blue for no real reason. Poor Roy Hibbert.
Also, scratch and sniff lotto tickets is a legit brilliant idea. If you are going to lose some money after scratching a ticket and getting the silver flakes all over you, you might as well be able to get a whiff of some cotton candy or something. No Chill Gil, come for the mix of old and new jokes with a billion hashtags, stay for the mind blowing inventions like scratch and sniff lotto tickets. The New York Lottery + the smells from Mr. Sketch = $$$$
And as much as I love Phil Jackson, I think #BlackMailTrade may be giving him too much credit. I think hashtagging #GarPax is a more appropriate explanation. But I’ll take my team getting a W in Hibachi’s book any day of the week. Now if we can only get Gilbert to help the New York tabloids with some original Derrick Rose headlines.