Let's Expansion Draft The Best Possible Team For Las Vegas
We’ve all known for a while now that Las Vegas is going to be the location the NHL goes with for expansion. You can read what I wrote about it a week ago here, and then those nerds at the Associated Press decided to throw this tweet out there yesterday.
So Las Vegas will be getting an NHL team and they’ll most likely be ready to go by the 2017-18 season. Which also means that an Expansion Draft will be on the way soon. Again, you can read up on what I wrote about the Expansion Draft back in March here, but let’s give you all a quick SparkNotes version real quick.
- Each team can protect 3D, 7F and 1G. Or you can protect 8 total skaters and 1 goalie.
- 1st and 2nd year pros will be exempt from the expansion draft (includes AHL + NHL years)
- Players with no-movement clauses in their contract must be protected from the expansion draft. No-trade clauses do not matter.
- Teams must expose enough players which total at least 25% of previous season’s payroll.
Now all those rules are well and good and everything. But what if there were no rules? What if the Expansion Draft were just a reckless abandon? Or what if certain players in the NHL just decide to waive their right to be protected because they actually want to go play in Vegas? Well that’s exactly what we’re about to do here. Becasue when you’re going to be the first major professional sports team in Las Vegas, you need to go big or go home. So here’s what the perfect Las Vegas NHL team would look like.
1st Line Forwards:
Tyler Seguin | Center | Dallas Stars
When I think of Vegas, I think a little less about gambling and more about the pool parties by day, nightclubs by night that eventually turn back into day. And when I think of who in this league is best suited for that lifestyle, it’s Tyler Seguin. I’m sure there are plenty of guys in the NHL who would like to live that lifestyle. But I can’t imagine many more would be able to have that life AND still be able to perform at a pretty high level. Seguin on the other hand? Well he was born for this.
Evander Kane | Left Wing | Buffalo Sabres
2-for-2 so far on “Barstool Sports: The Life” alums. Might be sensing a pattern here. But yeah, I’m pretty sure Evander Kane already spends the majority of his offseasons in Vegas anyway so might as well just make it a permanent thing. Plus, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. And that seems like something that would be very beneficial to Evander Kane these days…
Patrick Kane | Right Wing | Chicago Blackhawks
The man just loves to have a good time. He’s probably as big of a polarizing figure as there is in the NHL. So let’s let him go to Vegas and turn full heel. Let Bad Boy Patty Kane win another 3 Cups in Vegas and watch Hockey Twitter’s mind explode. Plus, having Patrick and Evander on the same line could lead to the 2 Kainz nickname that we’ve all been waiting on.
1st D Pairing
Michael Del Zotto | Philadelphia Flyers
It’s pretty common knowledge at this point that Tyler Seguin and Michael Del Zotto will be a package deal to Vegas. Even if one goes to Vegas and the other doesn’t get taken in the Expansion Draft, they’ll end up together there. The bromance is real.
Brent Burns | San Jose Sharks
Personality wise, Brent Burns belongs in Nashville. It’s a perfect fit for him. But stylistically speaking, Brent Burns needs to get the fuck out of San Jose because his suits are being wasted over there. He needs brighter lights, he needs a bigger stage. He needs the Las Vegas Strip.
Goalie:
Ilya Bryzgalov: Alright so everyone kind of lucks out here since Bryzgalov obviously won’t be coming through the Expansion Draft. Everybody gets to keep their shitty goalies. The only goaltender that is a big enough freak to belong in Vegas is Bryz. And that’s a fact.
2nd Line Forwards:
Thomas Vanek – Alexander Radulov – Jaromir Jagr
Just some older Europeans who already love to blow through all their money gambling already. They’ll be a perfect fit in Vegas. Shooting pucks, spending bucks and getting fucks. That’s all this line will ever do. Especially Jags. That fucking legend.
2nd D Pairing:
Jeff Carter – Mike Richards
So neither of these guys actually “plays defense”. So fucking what? They’ll take a pay-cut, play whatever position you want them to play, do whatever just to be able to live in Vegas together. Plus, the NHL seems to be severely lacking in cool defensemen so it’s not like there are many more options out there. Seem like a bunch of narcs on the blueline. Really need to do something about that.
And that’s about all I have so far. Feel free to send any more suggestions to me on Twitter @BarstoolJordie