If You're Going To Be Around Fenway On Sunday, Be Prepared To Think You're In A War Zone

(Boston) — Fenway Park will play host to a major counterterrorism exercise that will feature simulated explosions and realistic-sounding gunshots on Sunday from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m., officials said. Members of the Boston Police, Department of Homeland Security (DHS), and the U.S. Army Armament Research, Development, and Engineering Center (ARDEC) will “react to various simulated scenarios meant to test preparedness and new technologies for large events in the City of Boston,” the Red Sox said in a statement. The exercises will feature a “large number” of role players, Boston Police said. Along with the fake explosions and gunshots, the security test “may” also include the use of dogs, drones, and metal detection.

If you’re planning on having a hangover on Sunday morning at 7 AM and live in Fenway then I suggest sleeping at anyone else’s apartment Saturday night. Until 10 minutes ago I thought that the worst possible thing that could happen on a weekend morning was forgetting to turn off your Monday-Friday alarm clock, but boy was I wrong. Nothing like coming out of a boozy fog and immediately entering the fog of war. Simulated explosions and realistic-sounding gunshots going off as you try and shake off those five extra drinks that you didn’t need? Noooooo thank you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for major counterterrorism exercises so the police and first responders are better prepared, but how ’bout we do it at like 2 PM on a Wednesday? Sunday mornings were made for sleeping and absolutely nothing else. Certainly not explosions, gunshots, and drones. I went to bed in Boston, I’m not trying to wake up in Baghdad.