Aqib Talib Is Going With The "I Was Too Blacked Out To Remember Who Shot Me" Defense

(Source) There seems to be more questions than answers following the weekend shooting of Aqib Talib.  The Broncos cornerback was shot in the right leg early Sunday morning while allegedly leaving a nightclub in Dallas.  Police in Texas are investigating the incident but haven’t yet been able to identify a shooter. One of the main issues that authorities have run into during their investigation is that Talib hasn’t really been able to help them. 

According to WFAA-TV in Dallas, Talib told police that he was too drunk to remember anything.  “Everything was a blur and I was too intoxicated to remember what happened,” Talib told police.  It’s also possible Talib does remember and was just too embarrassed to talk about it. According to 9news.com in Denver, Talib is telling people “close to him” that he accidentally shot himself.  Talib also reportedly told police that he was shot while at a park with friends.

This seems like a tough sell for Aqib Talib but I respect the fuck out of the effort. The “I was too blacked out to remember” defense works with things like did you remember to put a condom on or did you eat a pizza or forget to pay your bar tab. A little tougher when it’s asking the question, did you shoot yourself with your own gun. I’m not a gun owner nor have I ever been shot before but that feels like something that would sober you up real quick right? I don’t care how how drunk you are or how long you’ve been at the strip club, shooting yourself is definitely something people remember. So again, I appreciate the effort Aqib. You’re basically going the 18 year old college freshman route when you’re trying to convince your friends you had sex with a chick and tell them “I was so wasted, I’m pretty sure we hooked up” only instead of a little white lie it’s your gun and your bullet that went through your leg. White girl wasted doesn’t really work when we’re talking about shooting yourself with your own gun.