Rush Limbaugh With The Hottest Harambe Take: How Do Apes Even Exist If Evolution? How Come He Didn't Become One Of Us?

“Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there. The evolution crowd. They think we were originally apes… If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape, and how come he didn’t become one of us?”

All this time us morons are sitting around debating the Harambe issue without even understanding the premise of the issue. We’re debating: is Harambe’s life more valuable than the human kid’s life? Should that majestic beast be shot dead to protect against even the chance that it kills that human?

And Rush Limbaugh proves once again that we’re all idiots. That we don’t even know what questions to ask. Hey dummies, it’s not about ape vs human. That’s not even possible. It’s about this: How can apes and humans both exist if evolution? How can there be a Harambe AND a Geraldo?

News flash (from Rush): Not possible.

It makes me rethink everything I thought I knew. Hey Riggs, don’t be afraid of that great white shark; it’s just a huge large mouth bass. Hey Riggs, don’t let that gator keep you from that Florida everglade; 100 million years ago that was just an iguana. Hey Riggs, you can only pick one or the other: either gorillas and humans are the exact same thing or evolution isn’t real.

And that’s why Rush is a nationally syndicated, bazillionaire politics, science and racial quarterback expert and I’m just writing about news on a sports/Justin Bieber website.

PS – Hey Skip Limbaugh, listen up. Evolution is not the change of an entire species into a new species. Evolution is the change in biological populations over long periods of time based on the change of hereditary traits passed from parents to offspring over many, many generations. Those changes occur based on Darwinism, wherein organisms with traits more conducive to survival survive, reproduce, and pass said traits to their offspring. This process repeats, and repeats, and repeats. Thus, an ape may remain an ape in places where ape traits are more conducive to successful and efficient survival; and apes may evolve into other species in different places where typical ape traits are not as conducive to survival.

Also, humans did not evolve from apes. Or gorillas. Or chimps. Dumbass.