IT HAPPENED!!! THE SIXERS FINALLY SNAG #1 OVERALL!!! TANKADELPHIA VILIFIED!!!

OMG OMG OMG!!! I want to sex Mutombo for confirming the rigged NBA!!!!! Finally, for the first time in 3 drafts since the “Process” started, the Sixers have come out on top. Barring any injuries or acts of God, it’ll be Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram called up to shake Adam Silver’s reptillian hand first to put on the Sixers uniform. Stubhub is already bribing NBA officials and I love it.

CUE IT THE FUCK UP!!!