What The Hell Is Wrong With Ryan Lochte's Body?

This picture has me angry right now. The fuck is wrong with you, Ryan? I don’t mean that in the “come on, be real, you didn’t finish third grade math” sense, I mean what’s wrong with you physically? I speak almost exclusively in the superficial so that shouldn’t have been confusing. Yes, the bathing suit is ridiculous but it can’t be all the suit’s fault. You look like an old dad at the beach, standing by the water waiting for his kids to drown. Knees all bowlegged, suit pulled up way too high, hands awkwarder than a Ricky Bobby interview. None of it makes sense. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Ryan Lochet’s body perplexes me like nothing I’ve ever seen and I can’t put my finger on why. It’s a Friday, I’m supposed to be having fun, but I can’t because I saw this picture of Ryan Lochte.