Love DeAngelo Williams Tossing His Daughter's Participation Ribbons To Teach Her About Winning

Ah the ol’ “Everyone gets a trophy” argument. A discussion as old as orange slices during halftime and the car ride home in silence after striking out to end the game in Little League. You know what? Good on DeAngelo Williams. And I hate to be an outright trophy hardo saying there’s an issue between kids getting rewarded for simply showing up and pussiness…but there kind of is. It’s one thing if they’re 5-years-old just learning how to play the sport and interact with their fellow species. OK. Everyone gets something for participating. But once sports start to become organized around 7 or 8 years old, that’s when things need to change. I’m not talking going full “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” on the squirts, but at least make sure it’s instilled that coming out on top is the goal of every competition. Why? Because that’s the fucking way it is in life. I’ve learned more playing sports growing up than I ever did in any classroom. I’m not saying I’m a winner by any means. The diet of canned tuna, amount of American Eagle still in the closet, and a three decades worth of negative life savings completely counteract that fact. But at least I, and most others who grew up in a competitive atmosphere, realize nothing is given. Everything is earned. And salaries aren’t guaranteed as an adult for just showing up.

Again, I respect DeAngelo’s decision and it was 100% OK, but a lot of parents still should probably pump the brakes with their kids. Remember this “Trohpy Kids” deal they did on HBO about overparenting during sports? Yeah, watching this still hits WAY too close to home for a lot of us.

Dad from stands: “Join the game mentally!”

Kid on court: “Will you shut up or leave.”

Dad: “You’re 0-11 man.”

Hilarious. Exactly how every kid who had parents who cared about them playing sports remembers most of their childhood. And by kids who had parents who cared about them playing I of course mean kids who had parents who played athletics in their youth but fell short at their own dreams but are living through their spawn. Just the way it is. Absolutely overbearing (mostly) Dads ensuring their children have the glory they failed to achieve. My Dad was that Little League coach who, albeit did a great job, would freak out extra hard on his kid. I’d take a hot shot at 3rd off the face from a bad hop and get screamed at for not being a man and making the play in time. Meanwhile the retarded right fielder who had the mobile skills of Walter White Jr. would literally piss himself whenever a can of corn came his way got blown in the dugout for his heroic effort of running near the ball. No justice.

PS – Is this bitch soccer Mom in fact Princess Zelda? Take your spoiled shits and pointy ears back to Hyrule.