China Has Banned Erotic Banana Eating Live Streams

(BBC) — Chinese live-streaming services have banned people filming themselves eating bananas in a “seductive” fashion. New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any “erotic” banana-eating, according to New Express Daily. It’s not just fruit that’s on their radar though – the paper adds that wearing stockings and suspenders while hosting a live stream is now also forbidden. The move is the authorities’ latest attempt to clamp down on “inappropriate and erotic” online content, state-controlled CCTV reports. In April, the Ministry of Culture announced it was investigating a number of popular live-streaming platforms for allegedly hosting pornographic or violent content that “harms social morality”.

Some people may call this an overreaction and say that food objects getting blowjobs is fair game for any live stream. But I’ll tell you what, I can work with a banana getting blown. I know China loves that pixelated porn so the banana could be a lovely second option, but the Ministry of Culture had to go and lock the side door to sex. But I have a question: is this for all phallic objects? Because I can get down to any of them. Popsicles, Charleston Chews, carrots, what the fuck ever. You want to ban bananas, bro? Fine, I’ll just jerk off to another video of food dick sucking.