Bachelorette Party Was Going Swimmingly Until The Massive Security Guard Decks The Bride To Be

Listen, I’m not condoning that D-1 Defensive Tackle/Rent-A-Cop going Street Fighter on the entire Bachelorette Party. He obviously could’ve exercised more control, but spare me that these women are completely innocent. We all know how this tale went down: Little Miss Betch was drunk at the bar, the bartender asked her to get her shit together, she said something to the effect of “This is my Bachelorette Party, I’m the bride, fuck off my tits don’t stink”, the bartender then cursed back, she goes full white girl wasted and haymakers a stack of plastic cups, security arrives, she resists leaving the bar, they all get manhandled. A drunken woman story as old as time itself. They think they run shit until – WHOOPS. Somebody who doesn’t give a shit/has nothing to lose/too stupid to comprehend the situation acts on their impulses. Don’t start shit that you can’t end.

Also, those gals shouldn’t have been slapping the massive creature that could swallow them whole. Equal rights, equal fights. Or something like that. Just best not to mess with people who can put you in a dirt nap with a flick of the wrist. That bride received a decking not seen since the infamous bus driver uppercut. Bang, ZOOM! Straight to the moon.