Mom Wanted To Name Her Kid "Cyanide" Because It Was What Killed Hitler But Judge Won't Allow It

NYP- A woman who tried to name her twins “Cyanide” and “Preacher” has had her choice overturned by courts in the first case of its kind. The Powys mother, who has been diagnosed with mental health problems, told the Court of Appeal “Cyanide” was a “lovely, pretty name” for her little girl, which can be positively associated with the death of Hitler and Goebbels. She defended her choice of “Cyanide”, and “Preacher” for her son, arguing that it was her human right as a mother to name her children. A judge prevented the woman from formally registering the children’s names in June last year. She contested the decision, but three Appeal Court judges upheld the injunction on the grounds that the “unusual” choices might harm the kids. Instead, the names of both twins, who are currently in foster care, will be chosen by their elder half-siblings.

Well that’s some grade-A bullshit from this judge. Guess he loves Hitler. That was my takeaway from this. Cyanide is a dope AF name by itself. Attach the part where the Mom wants it because it killed Hitler and it’s even better. You know on the first day of school when you go around the room, say your name and an interesting fact about yourself? Well this kid could’ve been like, “Hello. My name is Cyanide. My mom named me Cyanide because it killed the shit out of Hitler.” But no. This judge won’t let the kid have his shining moment every first day of school for the rest of his life. And since when are judges stepping in to tell parents what they can and can’t name their kids? They should’ve been doing this for celebrities a long time ago. Here are just a few celebrity baby names that should’ve been denied: Pilot Inspektor, Apple, Ocean, Blanket (fucking BLANKET), Audio Science and Moxie Crimefighter. So all of those are just fine but Cyanide isn’t? Total bullshit.

PS- I thought Hitler was killed by machine gun bullets to the face? Are you telling me Inglorious Basterds wasn’t historically accurate?