I'm Never Going To The Dentist Again After A Guy Woke Up With His Dentist's Dick In His Mouth

WASHINGTON (WUSA9) — A Washington, D.C. dentist is accused of sexually assaulting a man who was under anesthesia during a procedure to have a tooth removed, according to charging documents. Bilal Ahmed of Rockville, Md. was in Superior Court of the District of Columbia Thursday on a charge of first-degree sexual abuse of a patient or client after he allegedly forced the patient to perform oral sex during the procedure. On May 22, 2014, the documents say the patient was at Ahmed’s dental practice, Universal Smiles, at 2311 M Street after complaining that he chipped a tooth while eating. During his visit, Ahmed told the patient that he would have to remove the tooth. The patient then insisted on Nitrous Oxide being used and Ahmed, 43, told him that his insurance did not cover the use of the gas and he would have to cover the cost himself, according to the documents. The patient told investigators that when he received the gas a male dental assistant was present in the room, the documents say. The patient later woke up and noticed that his mask was partially off his face and described feeling something in his mouth, the documents said. He then noticed Ahmed’s penis was in his mouth, according to the documents.

A couple things.  This works out for me because I had no plans on ever going to the dentist again anyway.  I brush my teeth twice a day. I’m gonna be just fine.  No reason for me to spend my hard earned money (ya know, because of the whole no health insurance thing) to have an overly-educated person poke around in my mouth for 15 minutes just to tell me to floss more.  Thanks, doc.  Here’s $5,000.  If anything, all this story of forced dentist dick does is reinforce my stance on never going to the dentist again.  I don’t want a dick in my mouth.  It’s as simple as that. Some people are cool with having dicks in their mouth and I’m cool with them. Do you. But I will be avoiding all situations where it’s possible to have a dick shoved down my throat without me even knowing it. So for that reason I will never go to the dentist again. I’ll also be using it as my excuse when my Mom says, “Are you still going to the dentist regularly? You should be.”  Sorry Ma, can’t.  This mouth is a No Dick Zone.

Honestly, what did that guy say or do to his dentist when he came to and realized he had a dick in his mouth? That’s such an absurd situation I can’t even fathom what happens next. You gotta just kill the guy, right? Take a few of those dentist tools and open up his neck.  Then fuck his dead corpse like DMX. Just kidding. But no jury is convicting a person of murder if they had just been face fucked by their dentist without consent. You can’t have a guy who did that to you still walking the Earth.