This Puerto Rican Dude Is Dead As Fuck, Embalmed, And Propped Up At His Home Poker Game

NYP - This guy’s already cashed out — but that didn’t stop his pals from paying him a macabre tribute. Henry Rosario Martinez, a 31-year-old avid gambler, died earlier this month from booze and an overdose of prescription pills in his hometown of Barceloneta, Puerto Rico. Before Martinez was buried, the man’s dad had undertakers embalm his son, dress him in sunglasses and casual clothes and prop him up at a poker table so loved ones could see him one more time, doing what he enjoyed, CEN reported. A full house of friends gathered around Martinez’s corpse, anted up the memories and snapped pictures of him at the poker table, with a full stack of chips in front of him.

 

You ever been to an open casket? Heebie jeebies city. The first time I went I thought it would be all gravy, I’d be showing my respects, it’d all be good…nope. The idea that I was looking a dead person in the eyes while they looked like a porcelain doll entered my brain and I couldn’t get it to leave. But somehow, someway, god damn Puerto Ricans love hanging around their dead friends. Love propping them up at the table playing games. Remember the Rican who was playing dominos while holding a condom because those were his two favorite activities?

Or the Peurto Rican who was the Green Lantern in the corner at his own funeral?

I don’t know what is in the water down there, but the fact they are so comfortable with this embalming dead people and chillin with them is reason enough to never give these assholes a star on our flag. They wine and complain every election season about becoming a state and then rub elbows with their dead people like it’s Weekend at Bernies 3: Bernie Is Poor, Disgusting, and Mexican.