What Do People Think About Chris Christie Going Cheap Boat Shoes With A Full Suit?

What are our thoughts on Chris Christie’s shoes? You know, the politics that actually matter. The stoolie who tweeted this at me this morning says we can’t trust a Presidential candidate who rocks this look. And while I agree with him, I have to stand up for fat guys for a second here. Fat guys need comfortable shoes. It’s always comfort over fashion. We’re not some skinny fru fru Italian model who can wear wooden wingtips. We need wide, we need padding, we need a little give so the fat can sort of seep and spread out in the shoe. Every now and then I’ll pretend I’m someone I’m not and buy some kind of shoe that is style over comfort and every time it goes the same way. My feet hurt, I get blisters, I roll my ankle, and I end up an all around cripple just because for once I wanted to try and be a GQ model. It’s the same thing that happened when I bought a pair of black skinny jeans that I have yet to wear. I have a fleeting thought that I’m not an overweight person with a body like Spongebob Squarepants and by the time I get home reality has set in and I’ve purchased something I will never even dream of wearing.

So the moral of the story is, be yourself, and for that reason I have Chris Christie’s back. Not saying I would pull this exact move, especially when you have the weirdest body structure of all time and probably don’t want to call attention to your chimney stack pant legs, but I get it. Fat guys need to be comfortable. It’s the theory I have based my entire life around. Last Sunday I was at the bar and I was standing for a while watching football and I basically just said to my friends, you know what, if I can’t sit down soon I’m just going to go home, this is just too much standing. Comfort over everything always, life’s too short to stand. Write that down and put it in your wallet.

PS

New Hampshire is weird.