It Snowed An Inch And DC Lost It's Damn Mind

NBC - Drivers crashed on icy roads and sat in gridlock for hours Wednesday night after an inch of snow fell in the D.C. area — two days before a blizzard is expected to dump as much as 2 feet of snow. A thin layer of snow glazed streets with ice starting about 7 p.m., forcing the closure of highway ramps and side streets. The all-red traffic maps were reminiscent of “Carmageddon” in January 2011, when heavy snow fell fast across the region, knocking down trees and power lines and making a mess of the evening commute. As of 9 p.m., Virginia state troopers were responding to 172 crashes statewide, including a fatal crash in Bedford County. A state trooper working a crash on Interstate 495 in Northern Virginia was struck by another vehicle and is being treated for minor injuries.

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What an unbelievable night for the DC area last night. Around 7pm or so it started snowing. Not big, huge flakes, not flurries, just a normal little dusting of snow. And about 30 minutes later you would have thought the world was coming to an end based on reports coming out. People were losing their motherfucking minds. I mean look at that traffic map. Every single road, jammed ass to dick like dudes at a Black Out party. 172 crashes reported just in Virginia.

It took people hours upon hours to go 10 miles. The light dusting of snow turned bridges, 66, everything into parking lots.

It was absolute bedlam at the grocery stores, including what has to be the most “don’t you know who I am” Tweet of all time. Literally of all time:

“I’m friends with the night manager, god dammit!” “If you don’t let me in to buy my kale I’m going to give you such a bad Yelp review it isn’t even funny”

Not that the grocery stores had much left anyway.

All of this because of an inch of snow.Not the real storm that doesn’t start until tomorrow, but an inch. The weather people didn’t report it, the roads weren’t treated, and next thing you know, the entire city is paralyzed. I think Grant Paulsen summed it up very well:

And Mike Wilbon could not have been more annoying.

Oh shut up you overdramatic nancy.

The good news is the snow is done. Until tomorrow.

Storm Team4 is expecting 18 to 24 inches of snow across the D.C. area starting about 5 p.m. Friday. Snow may fall for 36 hours straight, meaning you may need to stay wherever you sleep Friday. The impact may tear down power lines and force road closures, so be prepared.

Bruh. 36 hours straight of snow? Up to 2 feet? Ain’t nobody got time for 2 feet of snow. If yesterday is any indication, we are woefully prepared and this will shut down DC until May. Which is kinda good for me, once the snow melts I’ll just head up to New York and won’t leave the house until then.

PS: I sent a text and got some good news, Citizen Burger will still be open. So not all hope is lost.

PS: #TJSnowshie is the best name for a snowstorm ever.