Reader Email - Rate How Insane This Neighbor's Note Is

Reader Email

Guys,

Saturday night my friend had an outdoor viewing party for the Pats win over the Chiefs.  Things got a little loud when a Don McLean “American Pie” sing along happened at around 1:30am (who was quite possibly slapping his wife while we were singing his song).

Next morning after it snowed my friend was cleaning her car off and found this Riddler-esque note on her windshield.  Complete psycho move?  Or genius?  You be the judge.

First thing I want to say is if you’re having outdoor viewing parties for like 12 hours that culminate in campfire sing-a-longs, while living in a neighborhood where people have real jobs, then you’re an asshole. You can do that shit in college, you can’t in the real world.

That’s why I completely agree with this neighbor: your revenge to that kind of disrespect must be swift and far worse than what they did to you. You need to scare your dickhead to neighbors to the point where they think there’s a chance you might torture and murder them. Best way to do that? A Riddler note. I can just picture this chick, in a state of delirium, scooping up all the Shape magazines that she still has in her bathroom (this is definitely a chick. One: murder as revenge is a chick move, two: 4 AM shift is a nurse shift) and furiously snipping away at letters while she mumbles to herself about cutting dicks off. I can’t stop laughing at that image. Just some poor, strung out nurse with red eyes and ratty hair, screaming about the hellfire she’ll rain down upon those who dared to cross her. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or any person who you kept up all night, be prepared to pay dearly.

PS – Did she have a magazine with an article titled “Inconsiderate Fucks” laying around? How did she find all those letters in the same font?