The Mystery Team Has Emerged For Yoenis Cespedes. And It's Jose Canseco Offering Yo A Spot On His Home Run Derby Tour

 

This is where we are as Mets fans.  The Wilpons have been given every opportunity to re-sign Yo and have refused to the point where Jose fucking Canseco is dropping Twitter facials on them.  Sure being on a team with the best rotation in baseball and an offense that actually could score runs until the World Series was cool and all. But can you imagine how much fun a Canseco-Cespedes Home Run Derby Challenge would be?  Just a couple of badasses traveling around the country, crushing dingers and chicks in between ripping cigs and marathon golf sessions. All Yo has to do is slide into those DMs and make a ton of dreams come true.

Or this could happen:

Which would lead to probably some riots and #MetsTwitter imploding like the death of a star. But at least if Yo signed with the Nats (or Yankees I guess), no New York jury would be able to convict a crazed fan of wiping the Wilpons off the planet. Sometimes you have to think of the big picture as a fan.

The Marlins?!?! I give up.
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