Jerry Jones' Unique Metaphor For The Shitty NFC East Should Also Be A Metaphor For His Life

NJ.com – “I’m looking up, on my back and all I see is ass,” Jones said Tuesday night at The Westin Houston, Memorial City Hotel following relocation meetings where Jones championed a plan that sent the St. Louis Rams to Los Angeles with the San Diego Chargers likely on deck. “I want a different perspective.”

Jer’ you sling dicker you. “I’m looking up, on my back and all I see is ass” could be written on your tombstone and nobody would bat an eye. And rightfully so. Between all the paid punani he’s conquered in his life I’m shocked if he wasn’t looking up at booty for over half of his time on Earth. And that’s just physical ass. This man made it through the ’90’s when Michael Irvin was loading up sex planes for mile high orgies and Charles Haley was whipping out his dick in the middle of meeting and jerking off in everyone’s face (Seriously). There’s more sexual material swinging both ways in this old coot’s spank bank than any warm blooded American in the game today. Go get some Glory Hole, Jer’!