Breaking News - El Chapo Has Been Re-captured

Listen I’m not one to criticize Mexican drug lords that could probably get me killed in the blink of an eye. But I think it needs to be said, El Chapo sort of sucks at staying escaped. Escaping? He’s got that down. Build himself an air conditioned tunnel with a motorcycle and sound system and get himself free in a second. Staying escaped? Not so much. You kind of suck at it El Chapo, no offense, because I know you’ll be out by Spring Training.

PS

Theres a chance El Chapo went home to his wife and kids and was just like you know what, fuck this. In prison I have it made, here I’m just Chapo, the dude that takes out the trash every Thursday. Mexican drug lord or not, everyone is just a guy that has to do some shit they don’t want to from time to time.