Alabama Post Office Has Bomb Scare That Turns Out to Be a Big Bag of Hot Dogs

Bama – Florence police blocked off Seminary Street after a suspicious package was found at the post office on Wednesday morning. Police confirmed they found hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil inside the suspicious bags. Police said around 7 a.m., a post office employee noticed a suspicious package behind one of the columns on the entryway to the building. Police were called in and blocked off the area. The police chief said two bags were oddly placed out front, which caused suspicion. When bomb techs arrived, they used equipment to scan bags, and because of what they saw and out of precaution, they expanded the perimeter. Bomb techs used their robot to get the bags put in a special vehicle and take it to an undisclosed location for further examination. Police said while they were glad the situation ended without injury to property or life, they made no apologies for their course of action.

Wildwood Tavern, a restaurant and bar in Florence, posted on Facebook and alluded that the hot dogs came from their kitchen: “BREAKING NEWS: Today marks the first time one of our delicious dogs has ever been opened by a robot and accused of being a bomb. “The Atomic Dog” is officially famous… We are offering $1 OFF ALL HOT DOGS ALL DAY!” All jokes aside, employees said they were thankful Florence police did what they did to ensure safety. “At the end of the day, I thought about it, and I thought I understand what it looked like and it’s something that wasn’t supposed to be taken lightly,” said co-owner Tyler Ross. “It’s good they did what they did, and we’re glad it wasn’t what they thought it was.” It is still unclear how the bags of hot dogs got there in the first place.

Thank god those cops are alright. I imagine an unsuccessful hot dog bomb disarming would go something like this

So really just an awesome day for the bomb squad here. Because this is one of the best case scenarios you could ask for if that’s your gig. I’d assume most days involve avoiding cutting the wrong wire or maybe dying or possibly getting maimed. So spending your morning being nervous about blowing up and then basically getting lunch instead is a huge W for these guys. I think the only way it could have gone better would have been if they opened the bag and a bunch of puppies spilled out and knocked the dude in the giant Hurt Locker suit over. Cutest terroristic threat ever. Puppy Bombs!

On a sidenote, how about the balls on the Wildwood Tavern to just causally admit that it’s their hot dogs and then run a marketing campaign with the publicity? Is there even a doubt that they’re behind the whole thing? Wow a bomb scare that turned out to just be our hot dogs? That’s ca-razy! Btw come try our Atomic Dog for a dollar off! The taste will blow you away! I wouldn’t be surprised if a suspicious looking bag full of Barstool store exclusive Brady t-shirts ended up at NFL HQ anytime soon… Fuck, I’m probably on some kind of list now.