The Day That Fallout 4's Release Almost Killed Pornhub

For weeks now, the top comment on almost every video on Pornhub has been about how excited these freaks are for Fallout 4 to come out. Now, the only gaming system I own is a Playstation 2 and I suck at all video games so I could never really share in their excitement over this game. I don’t even really understand what Fallout is. Is it like a Call of Duty type game where you can play online and just kill people or what? Either way, the constant Fallout 4 comments have been making life a little difficult to find Top Pornhub Comments of the Week each week and I was starting to get sick of them. However, it appears that these guys weren’t just commenting about Fallout 4 for the upvotes, but they were actually just that fired up about the game that it’s all they could think about even whilst beating their meat. Because if you take a look at the traffic on Pornhub the day the game was released, you’ll see that they took their dicks out of their hands and replaced them with a controller instead.

via Pornhub – “We can’t say we’re too surprised with what happened to our traffic during peak gaming hours,” Pornhub vice president Corey Price said.

“Based on the data, it looks like a huge surge of people decided to indulge in some wasteland wandering by taking the day off of work and school to play, while the rest of the world had to wade through what we assume were the longest hours of work ever in anticipation of some alone time with their consoles.”

So from about 5 am to around 2 pm, it looked like almost nobody in the world was jaying O. The gamers were gaming and then I guess everyone who has an actual job in the real world can’t really jerk off in the workplace because that’s frowned upon in today’s society. But either way, a HUGE drop off in users during that time. Then I guess the gamers needed to eventually take a break from crushing nothing but Doritos and Mountain Dew and had to take a quick dinner break. So they step away from the game around dinner time, eat a quick meal, get a quick jerk sesh in, and then it was immediately back to Fallout until 9 pm when they presumably beat the game. That would be the only way to explain that huge uptick after 9 pm. Celebratory jerks upon celebratory jerks. Good for them.

Oh, and I realize that this data is only based on users in which Google analytics have identified as “gamers” but I have to imagine that these are the same people that make up the majority of Pornhub’s traffic on a daily basis so yeah, Fallout 4 almost killed Pornhub. At least for 24 hours.