Three Women Beat Up A Guy At A Showing Of Fifty Shades Of Grey Because He Told Them To Stop Talking

Metro- No, it’s not some kind of horror movie, it’s the first Valentine’s Day screening of Fifty Shades of Grey at a cinema in Glasgow. A man was allegedly attacked by the group of women when he asked them to stop talking at the Grosvenor cinema in the city’s West End. Michael Bolton, 33, was at the film adaptation of the EL James bestseller with wife Yvonne, 32. He told the Daily Record: ‘Besides being the worst film I have ever seen, three women were getting arrested and put in a police van when we arrived. ‘A woman came out the theatre and said that a guy had been assaulted. ‘One woman was in handcuffs and another two women were in tears. ‘She said that three or four girls had been very loud and were shouting. The man had asked them to shut up and he was assaulted.

You just knew there were gonna be stories like this the Monday after Fifty Shades of Grey came out.  You’ve got a bunch of crazy ass single chicks going to a borderline-porn movie on Valentine’s Day weekend.  And it was Friday the 13th on Friday.  Some insane shit is gonna happen.  I saw this story going the other way though.  I was hoping it ended with this dude getting to have a threesome with the girls he told to stop talking.  That’s how it should’ve happened, right?  Or maybe I’ve watched a little too much porn.  He tells them to shut the fuck up, they love his aggressiveness, they get turned on by the movie and bam, everybody’s naked and things are happening in the aisle.  But nope.  That’s not what happened at all.  Turns out they just beat him up instead.  That’s a letdown for sure.  How did he know they weren’t coming onto him though?  Isn’t that what this Grey movie is all about?  At what point are you like, “Oh nope, they’re actually just mad and want to hurt me.”   I think a good rule of thumb when interrupting a woman during Fifty Shades of Grey is don’t.  Don’t do it.  This is like their Super Bowl.  Let them do whatever they want.

PS- Dude who got assualted’s name is Michael Bolton.  Like his life isn’t bad enough already.