The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly From The Eagles Shitstorm In Carolina

Smitty 10/26/2015 3:25 PM

Another winnable game lost by sloppy, embarrassing play. Let’s break her down.

The Good:

Ryan Matthews – I was all on board Demarco touching the ball more than a seemingly hotter Matthews (who is less of a recieving threat), but not anymore. Give it to the hot hand, man. Oh, but Ry-Ry hurt his groin on a 22 yard scamper…and THEN busted out a 63 yarder for a TD. So…I guess an injured Ryan Matthews is better than a healthy Demarco Murray right now?

Malcolm Jenkins – As good as good gets right now. Yeah, he missed tackling Tolbert at the goaline by not wrapping up, but credit that bowling ball for deflecting that missile more than anything else. Malcolm finally found his hands with that amazing pick, too.

This Guy? -

Annnnnddd that’s it. Seriously.

The Bad:

The Defense – A couple bad drives here and there keep them out of the good categor, but AGAIN, they played well enough to win the football game. Add on 3 more turnovers for a league leading 19 takeaways and this D is by far the best part of this team. But I’m not too privy on the 204 rushing yards given up, either.

Sam Bradford – He didn’t play great, and the stat line reflects that (26/46, 205 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT). But, say, 5 of those 7 gimmie drops were caught and you’re looking at at least 31/46, 260 yards, 1 TD with the INT being nullified because it doesn’t bounce off of Jordan Matthews’ tits. The man, AGAIN, played well enough to win, but not well enough to take over the game and get that W.

The O-Line - Hey, overall they did an OK job. Especially after Peters looked like he died on the field (Back spasms are beyond painful people, but he’ll be fine). Bradford was sacked 5 times but credit one of them to his fucking sleeves. For real.

Sturgis – I don’t care if the snap is rushed as Dorenbos claimed, you gotta make that 50-yarder. Also, the next time you boot the ball OTB on a kickoff will be the last time you’re ever in the league. UNACCEPTABLE.

The Ugly:

The Obvious – And these aren’t even all of them in my opinion. 7 official drops could have been 9 or 10 to actual, real NFL wide receivers. Also, notice how most of them are for a 1st down or TD. Cute.

The Eagles are the only football team in the world, at any level, who have WR’s who not only don’t make big things happen, but don’t make the most average plays. You didn’t see notable bums Philly Brown and Ted Ginn Jr having issues last night catching balls in traffic. Jordan Matthews alone had 3 drops on 7 targets that didn’t include a potential TD where he didn’t get his feet down but, fuck, at least he caught the damn ball. Josh Huff can kiss some dick, too, after booting that easy TD catch.

Ms. Maxwell –

Also, is it stipulated in his billion dollar contract that Byron Maxwell has to play off of recievers by at least 5-yards at all times? Sure, he made an athletic INT off a tip, but the dude was wide open…

STUPID MOTHERFUCKING PENALTIES – ENOUGH. LANE JOHNSON CAN’T BE GOING OFFSIDES 4 TIMES IN 2 GAMES – ESPECIALLY ON 3RD DOWN. JASON KELCE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN HOLDING. DUMB PERSONAL FOULS ON PUSSY HEADBUTS. I’VE HAD ENOUGH.

Chip – Remember in Chip Kelly’s first game as an NFL head coach at Washington on MNF two years ago? When he sprinted out of the gate and scored 21 points in the first quarter of his career? Yeah, well, the Philadelphia Eagles through 7 games in the 2015 NFL season have scored 10 points TOTAL in the first quarter. That’s all gameplanning. That’s all Chip. And combine that with some serious questionable play calls (WTF was that smoke screen on the biggest 3rd and 9 of the game AFTER YOU CALLED A TIMEOUT TO DISCUSS THE PLAY) and seemingly dishing off the blame to coaches and players, I’m getting mighty tired of the excuses. Time’s up. There’s nowhere else to go right now. EXECUTE.

Bye Week. Let’s take a deep breath then piss on the Cowboys come November, a month in which Chip is 7-1 in two years with the Birds.

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