How Insane Is It That Barstool HQ Employees Need To Walk To The Gym Down The Street In Order To Use The Bathroom?

People think this is a fun job? Think it’s easy to sit around all day on the computer, making bad jokes, and waiting to die because you’re as mobile as a log and don’t have health insurance?

Well, how’s this: the bathroom? It’s broken. It’s probably never getting fixed. So we need to walk about a block and a half, to the gym, in order to take a piss. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. Portnoy is Daddy Warbucks, jetsetting around to Nantucket and Saratoga and Napa to watch his horses run. He’s coming into the office every day whining about the thousands he lost gambling last night. Us? We’re living like serfs, moping around in our own piss and shit with the animals. Actual animals. Squirrels and broken toilets, that’s what Barstool HQ employees get. You want a bathroom? That’s a $90 gym membership per month.

What makes it worse? Dave has his own bathroom, we’re just not allowed to use it. That’s how I know this is never going to get fixed, because it doesn’t affect him. It’s only a problem for those of us not in the high castle. So if there are any OSHA or human rights lawyers, get at me. Portnoy must be stopped.