New York Post Drops BOMBSHELL Report Announcing Finance Bros Are Hammering Lines Of Adderall To Get Through The Day
Source - Wall Street’s grinding office culture has pushed young bankers to resort to snorting lines of crushed Adderall pills from their desks in order to make it through workdays that can stretch as long as 22 hours, according to a report.
Twenty- and thirty-somethings looking to get ahead in finance told the Wall Street Journal that “nobody blinked an eye” when seeing a colleague ingest Adderall, a prescription medication used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, as if it were cocaine. Young bankers also are relying on stimulants such as the drug Vyvanse and super-caffeinated energy drinks, the report said.
Say it ain't so, Joe! Adderall? At a bank? You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I thought that they were staying up for days at a time high on life. Thrilled on opportunity. Ready to spread the good word of corporate banking on a moments notice. Turns out they were just hammering lines of adderall like a bunch of middle schoolers snorting up pixie sticks. What a shame. That said, I've got bad news for the author of this article…it ain't uncommon, brotha. Maybe the snorting, but not the abuse. Hell, if you could've seen what I was putting into my body just to vacuum my living room during the pandemic you'd have tried to make it nightly news. I survived, somehow, and here we are.
The details…
Mark Moran, who scored an internship at investment banking giant Credit Suisse in New York, managed to score a prescription for Adderall from a local health clinic even though a psychologist in his family didn’t think he had ADHD, according to the Journal.
He said he needed something to help him get through the grueling, 90-hour week.
“They gave me a script, and within months, I was hooked,” Moran, 33, told the Journal. “You become dependent on it to work.”
This just in: Adderall is addicting. And I'm not saying that to be a dick, I'm saying it because it's true. It doesn't matter what the quack on the other side of your bullshit telehealth zoom call says - it. is. bad. You can't plug your body into an outlet every day and expect not to have negative side effects.
Other bankers had similar stories…
Dozens of industry workers who spoke to the Journal said the demands of the job require them to lean more on stimulants.
Trevor Lunsford, who works in the mergers and acquisitions department of Ascend Capital in Washington, DC, told the Journal that he has been on Adderall for the last seven years.
“It’s a very core, integral component of my life, and to me, something that is a very, very important tool,” he said.
Jonah Frey, who worked as an investment banker in health care for Wells Fargo in San Francisco in 2020, said Adderall would help him get through the day, which often began at 4 a.m. local time and ended at around 2 a.m. the next day.
“I went in understanding the downside risks” of using Adderall, he said. “But the reward was making managing director and pulling in a seven-figure salary. I felt that I had to have an edge to make it.”
So what did we learn here today? Absolutely nothing. Bankers have been doing what bankers have always been done - only this time the powder is blue not white. Have a lovely evening.