Manchester City Is Reaching New Heights Of ASS

Things you just absolutely love to see. The once mighty apex predator of the Premier League has now plummeted to the bottom of the food chain. Do you have any idea how catastrophically bad you have to be to average fewer points per game than Southampton? Yes, Southampton—the perennial relegation candidates. And yet, the so-called big bad Manchester City, the boys in blue, can’t even muster a single point per match. Let that sink in.

And then there’s “the greatest manager in world football,” Pep Guardiola, who himself admitted, “It is not possible for us to play better.” Read that again. The man heralded as a tactical genius, with a squad worth hundreds of millions, has literally no answers. None. Zip. Zero. The collapse is real, and my God, is it GLORIOUS to witness.

Let’s talk about Manchester United. Yes, United—a team that spent the better part of the season floundering in 13th place. They go to the Etihad, trailing 1-0 in the 88th minute, and somehow, against all odds, snatch a victory. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the current state of Manchester City, I don’t know what will.

And here’s the kicker: that wasn’t even their worst bottle job this month! Let’s not forget the Champions League disaster, where they blew a 3-0 lead against Feyenoord in just 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES! This team, once revered, is now a punchline, a soap opera of chaos and underachievement.

It’s pure, unfiltered comedy. Watching this unravel is like witnessing a masterpiece of footballing failure. And today’s episode of Pitch Picks captures it all—the drama, the banter, the sheer joy this collapse brings to the rest of us. If you haven’t tuned into an episode before, make this one your first. Trust me, it’s a must-watch.