Santa Claus Arrested in Dallas, We Need Better Santa Regulation in America

I don't know what country the North Pole belongs to, but apparently it's not America. Donald Trump isn't even in office yet and he's already got law enforcement hard at work, sending illegal immigrant workers back where they came from. Can't believe Santa Claus let his Visa expire right before the holidays. Just goes to show how pompous and arrogant that guy is. Probably thinks the law doesn't apply to him because the Santa Claus business is a non-profit that hemorrhages billions of dollars every Christmas season due to their terrible business model of supplying toys for the entire world in exchange for cookies and milk and a month of paid mall appearances. 

I saw this video yesterday, and was hoping we would get some information as to why this particular Santa Claus was actually arrested by now. Unfortunately, I still can't find anything. So we can only speculate. Your mind immediately goes to sex crimes. I have a bad feeling that people aren't running background checks on their hired Santa's as much as we'd like to believe. It's a job tailor made for perverts. 

This doesn't look like a mall however. Which makes me wonder if this criminal was attempting to avert the law by disguising himself as man in the holiday spirit. Maybe he had a warrant out for his arrest and was attempting to covertly (but cheerfully) move locations. On the surface, a Santa costume seems like a great disguise for avoiding law enforcement around the holidays. Nobody expects a Santa to do anything bad. But you have to make sure your Santa costume is on point. You're going to draw attention whether your Santa costume is good or bad, and there's a fine line between looking like a happy, jolly, respectable Santa, and looking like a Santa who's definitely on his way to rape someone.

If this Santa was in fact a hired Santa, it's safe to say he wasn't IBRBS - The World's Largest Organization of Professional Santas, Mrs. Clauses, Spouses, and Associates certified. Or a card carrying member of The Worldwide Santa Claus Network. He's giving Craigslist Santa. The way his beard falls off his face. His Santa hat looks cheap. He didn't bother to dye his hair grey. He's not even fat. Craigslist Santa's should not exist. Here's a content idea for someone more ambitious and ballsy than I am. Put a Santa-For-Hire ad up on Craigslist. If anybody hires you to make an appearance at a place where children are present, alert the authorities, and have the parents arrested on the spot. 

I hate to advocate for getting the government involved in any areas they don't already have their hands in, but we need better regulation when it comes to Santas. Being a Santa is a big responsibility. Even if you don't plan to be near a child, you never know when a kid might appear and all of the sudden you're solely responsible for maintaining that child's innocence. If you say wrong word, or have a bad Santa accent, or get dragged out of an apartment in full Santa gear by a team of cops in broad daylight while a car full of children drives by, you could ruin Christmas for an entire family.