Cal-Berkeley Student Slammed Through The Turf By Equipment Manager After Attempting to Steal a Player's Football Helmet

Good try. Good effort. Rarely do you see a person come less close to accomplishing their goal than this particular student was when attempting the steal that helmet. But he gave it his best shot. He had visions of a game worn Cal Golden Bears football helmet proudly displayed on his frat house mantel. Taking it down every now and then during a party to put on his head and funnel a beer. To do a line of cocaine off the top. To run an Oklahoma drill against the wall. The possibilities are endless. It would have been a very slightly above average story to tell every time somebody visited his disgusting home. But instead he was tracked down by the fastest equipment manager on earth. The whole thing caught on camera. Which in reality, probably makes for a better story anyways. 

Helmet stealing is fair game in my opinion. Cal-Berkeley has plenty of money. I'm sure this young thief's parents pay their good hard earned tens of thousands of dollars for him to attend the school. He deserves a fair shot at a helmet. But at the same time, if he gets caught, he deserves to be body slammed into the ground and have the whole incident caught on video for the world to see. Followed by a stern talking to from the dean, who will force him to issue a handwritten apology to the football team. Or whatever Cal does to teach their students a lesson.

His heist was poorly planned all along. Sprinting away was never the move. If he was ever going to get away with that helmet, it was going to have to be a covert operation. He basically did the equivalent of smashing through the front window of a jewelry store in broad daylight, directly in front a cop, and attempting to get away on foot. Except instead of an out of shape cop, it's an equipment manager with 4.6 speed and immaculate tackling form. But the kid managed to get his hands on the helmet without drawing attention. At this point of the video, nobody seemed to notice him.

Had he quietly grabbed that helmet and walked up those stairs, he may have just strolled right out of the stadium helmet in hand. It wasn't until he abruptly hit the gas and bolted directly into the equipment managers line of sight that he drew attention. Once he drew attention it was game over.

There's never a worse time to challenge an equipment manager than immediately following a football game. The man has one job. Protect the equipment. And that equipment manager just spent 3-4 hours watching grown men beat the shit out of each other for 4 quarters. His Bears earned a hard fought win over longtime ACC rival Stanford. The equipment manager was still fired up. The juices were still flowing. And you know he played football in high school. He probably stands on the sideline all game long imagining scenarios where a small comet strikes the field and takes out 80% of the team. Then right when Cal is about to forfeit, the coach dramatically looks his direction and says, "Wait a second… Hey equipment guy… Get in there."

Equipment mananger inevitably ends up making a game saving tackle. The crowd goes wild. Equipment manager goes down in Cal football history. I'm sure he's played that tape in his head a thousand times.

But a drunk student stealing a helmet right in front of his face is as close as he'll ever get to that. That was his moment, and he made the most of it. And now that the coach sees what he's capable of doing in a clutch situation, maybe he'll grab a walk-on spot next year. At minimum, he'll be top of the list if that comet ever strikes for real.