Fuck My Life: The Miami Dolphins Have Once Again Given Me Hope

The Dolphins have done it again—the kings of false hope, heartbreak artists of the NFL. That’s who they are. This team exists purely to dangle hope and optimism in front of its fans, only to yank it away at the last second, leaving us scrambling to pick up the pieces. 

If they had lost yesterday, at least we could have resigned ourselves to the reality of a disappointing season. But no, in classic Dolphins fashion, they pulled off a win against the LA Rams, and now, here we are. Me, you, and every other Dolphins fan across the country are sitting here with that familiar glint of hope, like it’s something new. 

I’m practically shaking as I type this, veins popping out of my neck, trying my hardest not to buy in. I know exactly what this team is doing, and yet, like clockwork, here I am again. Every year, I roll up my sleeve, tie off my arm, and let the Dolphins inject a fresh dose of hope right into my bloodstream. And this year? We’re at it again.

We’re sitting at a depressing 3-6, and guess who’s up next? The Raiders and the Patriots. Which means, if we win those, we’ll be sitting at 5-6, heading into Lambeau Field on Thanksgiving with a shot at .500. The optimism is creeping back in, and honestly, I can’t take this shit anymore. 

Part of me wants to just throw in the towel and spare myself the emotional turmoil. I’d almost rather be done with it now than get my hopes up just to be crushed again in a few weeks. But here we are, and once again, I’m letting myself think, “Maybe… just maybe.”

It’s funny, isn’t it? I can see the disappointment lurking around the corner, practically waving at me, yet here I am, unable to resist. I have no choice but to accept this hope all over again, knowing full well how it’s likely to end. And you know what? Even with all the odds against us, I couldn’t be more convinced that this is just another setup for heartbreak.

But that’s the life of a Dolphins fan. We know how this story usually goes, but there’s always that tiny voice whispering, “Maybe this time.” So, we’ll ride this wave of cautious optimism, already bracing for the inevitable. But for now, we’re looking ahead, dreaming about Thanksgiving miracles, and hoping that maybe, just maybe, this season won’t end in the usual disappointment.

And if it does? Well, I guess we’ll just pick up the pieces and do it all over again next year.