The Dallas Cowboys Should Say Fuck It And Hire Deion Sanders

It's that time of the year in the NFL. We're at the point of the season where we know which teams are underachievers, and it's time to start calling for coaches jobs. And naturally, you can't have a conversation about potential job openings in the world of football without suggesting Deion Sanders for each and every one.

Deion Sanders is by no means qualified to be an NFL head coach by traditional standards. Less than 10 years ago he was coaching a high school football team at a school he named after himself. He's only in his 5th season coaching college football, and 3 of those seasons were at an FCS school. He doesn't have nearly enough experience to coach the Dallas Cowboys. But I no longer think that even matters for a head coach. I think we've been looking at what qualifies someone to be a "good" head coach all wrong. I'm not sure their actual football knowledge matters in the slightest.

Obviously, best case scenario is you get a guy like Andy Reid or Mike Tomlin or Sean McVay, who legitimately knows how to run an organization inside and out. He knows how to work with coordinators and allow for their ideas to mesh with his. He knows when to intervene and when to take a step back. He knows how to coach to the strengths of his players as opposed to trying to force them into whatever scheme he's most comfortable running. But realistically, there's about 10 of those guys who exist. If you don't have one of those 10 guys, your team is just a revolving door of mediocre coaches who've proven to be great coordinators, but when they finally get their chance to call the shots for real, within a couple years the entire fanbase loathes having to watch their big dumb clueless face patrol the sidelines of their underachieving team. 

Seriously, how often do we see offensive coordinators leave a team, and the next year the team's well-oiled machine of an offense goes to shit. Coordinators are so fucking important. I think they're more important than head coaches. Teams have been paying the wrong people for years. When teams have a great thing going, I'll never understand why they don't throw head coaching money at their OC or DC so that he doesn't leave. Why wouldn't the Lions quadruple Ben Johnson's salary at the end of this season? It's not like teams don't have the money to do it. There's no salary cap for coaching staffs. But that's a whole different subject. The point is, for as long as I can remember, the pecking order in the world of football has been you work your way up from the bottom until you land yourself a coordinator position, and if you do a great job as coordinator then you're finally qualified to be considered for a head coaching job. That hiring strategy seems to fail about 80% of the time, but for some reason NFL teams keep on trying it.

So why not hire a guy like Deion Sanders, as opposed to yet another coordinator who doesn't know how to be a leader, is constantly giving up and taking back the play calling duties, and causes some weird power struggle within the organization because everyone thinks they should have more responsibility. Why not hire someone like Deion who will bring energy to the team. Someone who the players will relate to and want to play for. Let Deion be the mouth piece of the Cowboys, let him give his viral motivational speeches. Let him be the scapegoat when shit goes south. Let him stand on the sideline with a headset and an enormous gold chain. His XXXXXXL sunglasses will actually come in handy inside sunny AT&T Stadium. Give him a laminated chart of analytics that tells him when he should go for it on 4th down, then hire 2 good complementary coordinators to make all the play calling decisions and tell Deion to get the fuck out of their way. 

Why not? What do the Dallas Cowboys have to lose? I'm 32 years old, and the Cowboys have been a punchline for as long as my memory goes back. Worst case scenario, the Deion Sanders hire blows up in their face and the Cowboys back to being just as much of a joke as they already are. It can't get much worse for them.

I'm not necessarily sold on the whole "Deion should bring Shedeur to the Cowboys with him" thing. I think it would be best for both of them if they had a little space. It would almost certainly behoove them to get some experience away from each other. Maybe spend a few years honing their crafts without unconditional love clouding their judgement. Maybe if they prove to be successful in their own right, then down the road they can team up again. A first time father/son + head coach/QB duo sounds like a recipe for disaster in the NFL.

But if Deion wants the job, I don't see why the Cowboys would give him a shot. I know he's said he "doesn't want to coach in the NFL" and that he "wants to stay at Colorado", but he said the same shit when he was at Jackson State. His kids are about to be off the NFL. Deion has ties to the Cowboys. I know his ego is big enough that he thinks he can do the job. At this point I'd almost be surprised if it doesn't happen. Jerry Jones is getting desperate to win a Super Bowl before he dies. It's about time he tries something drastic.