"Bill From The Northwest Side" Called Into Chicago Sports Radio And Spoke For All Bears Fans While Crucifying Matt Eberflus

Spot the lie. I can't. Touch 'em all, Bill from the Northwest side. You hit all the points, emphasized the key points, and probably raised your blood pressure to a level your doctor would yell at you for in the process. 

He's ok, he's just having a heart attack

You know how you know Bill fucking crushed that rant? Because those three miserable mamalukes from The Score smile for the first time in weeks.

I went to this dumpster fire of a matchup against my better judgement. I honestly wanted (and expected) New England to lose. (I want that #1 pick so they can draft Travis Hunter) But the one thing, the major thing, I underestimated, was how much this Bears team hates their coaching staff. You could tell just watching them, they have totally quit. They are unquestionably, categorically, positively checked out. 

The weather was beautiful, a little windy, but nothing crazy or game-impacting. 

I got tickets from one of my liquor reps (thanks, Steph) and planned on watching a much-needed Bears bounce-back victory. They'd won 8 straight at home coming into the game. 

But nope. 

The 2-7 New England Patriots came in and had their way with the Bears like Portnoy is with Zach Bryan. It was ugly. We're talking 9, FUCKING NINE sacks of Caleb Williams. 

This wasn't the phenomenal NY Giants pass rush we're talking about either. This was a team that came into the game with 16 sacks on the season. THAT is how atrocious this team's offensive line is, and how little they give a fuck. 

As Bill said, this team knows Eberflus is a joke, they don't take anything he says seriously. 

The fans are beyond done with not just him, but his joke of a coordinator Shane Waldron also. 

This was the scene in the 3rd quarter between Caleb Williams and Waldron. 

What Shane Waldron can be laughing about here is beyond me. The only thing I can guess here is that that is the face of a man who knows the guillotine is about to drop on his head any second. And it's nervous laughter because Waldron is the kind of buffoon who somehow, someway got to where he is in life but nobody has a clue how or why. Only a bigger bafoon like Matt Eberflus would contemplate hiring a guy like Waldron to run his offense, discuss the job with him, and think, "yup. That's my guy." 

Caleb Williams on the other hand could not look more dejected or miserable. It doesn't take an FBI Body Language expert to decipher that look. 

Chicago ownership drastically needs to clean house of this entire staff, before they run the risk of losing Caleb Williams completely. 

I read this somewhere a few weeks ago…

I stand firmly behind the belief that had the Chicago Bears drafted Patrick Mahomes, and not the QB whisperer Andy Reid and KC, then he's probably out of the league or in a body cast right now, and not slingin Subway foot-longs, challenging TB12 for goat status.

Williams's prospects look less like a clear runway and more like a minefield. The question isn't whether Williams has the skill; it's whether he can translate that skill while dodging the 300-pound missiles in the form of defensive linemen, especially behind the Bears' notoriously flimsy line.


"BUT THE BEARS IMPROVED THEIR OFFENSIVE LINE ISSUES IN THE OFFSEASON!" The delusional Bears fans scream. 


Yah, by signing one decent starter, and a couple practice squad warriors who don't have a full season of starts to their three names combined, you're right. In the same way stopping a shotgun blast to the skull is "improved" by bleeding out. 


This kid is going to be running for his life from day 1.


Chicago’s offensive line has been less of a shield wall and more of a welcome mat in recent seasons. Last year, they allowed 58 sacks, ranking them third-worst in the league. For a rookie quarterback like Williams, who needs confidence and time to adjust to the NFL's speed, this is a nightmare scenario. Historical data suggests that rookie quarterbacks sacked 50 times or more in their debut season typically see a steep decline in performance and, often, career longevity.

Oh, I remember where, Barstool Sports. Because I wrote it. 

It's almost like somebody has paid attention over the last 15 years around here, studied history, and predicted it would repeat itself. 

Weird…

(Sidebar - yah, I know, I know, I changed my mind after Hard Knocks and watching Williams in the preseason.) And I wrote a blog saying I was wrong. So what? I reserve the right to change my mind about changing my mind.)

This was the next cut in. Look how far away Williams scooched down the bench.

Poor kid. Has to suck looking around the league at what Jayden Daniels is experiencing in Washington thinking that could have been him. 

Instead, he's stuck in quarterback hell; Chicago, Illinois. 

Instead- 

And after the Bears get rid of Eberflus and company, they should relieve the guy responsible for hiring that clown show of his job also- Ryan Poles. 

I don't know what's worse: the fact Ryan Poles handed the keys to this team over to Matt Eberflus, or the fact that a guy who played offensive line is to blame for putting together this sad excuse for a line. Be a worse judge of talent. You can't. Make no mistake, Eberflus is directly to blame for this season going down in flames, but the blood is on Ryan Poles' hands. 

This was the scene in the 4th qtr.

Ugly as fuck, and I honestly cannot for the life of me understand how you are the McCaskey family, sitting in their silent suite with no alcoholic beverages, or tvs, watching this debacle, and hearing this. Those are the people who donate their hard earned money decade after decade, to watch your shit product, and allow you to continue to live in La La Land. Don't you fucking get how that trade off works yet guys? 

It's one thing if you're outgunned, and just get straight up "out played" because you don't have the talent to hang with better teams. Like the Colts. But to get convincingly out-worked like the Bears are is unforgiveable. And part of you can't even blame the players. Their superiors are fucking morons. Sure, you've got guys walking off the field in the middle of plays. Guys flipping off the crowd, celebrating before the game is over, then proceeding to get dunked on for a Hail Mary. But guys with good coaches, who are confident in the team's mission, respect their leaders, and want to play for their teammates don't do that shit. 

Save this team. Save this fanbase. Save your #1 draft pick investment. 

I want to grab Bears fans like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting and hug them

p.s. - Is there a city with a collective group of worse owners in this country? This poor city and its fans man. 

p.p.s. - Somewhere, Mitch Trubisky and Justin Fields are smiling.

Popular in the Community